Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Adventures With Hair

I am continuing on my quest of putting seed beads in my hair. Episode Three! Or so. I can't remember how many posts I have on it.

Speaking of Episodes, did you know Disney bought out Star Wars? And are planning Episode 7 for 2015? And Lucas won't be directing it? My first reaction is "don't ruin the thing I love!" but if Episodes 1-3 didn't ruin Star Wars for me, I don't know if Disney will. I just wonder now if they'll stay near the canon (in which case they'll have to find people to play Luke, Leia, and Han Solo... though I can't imagine Han Solo not being Harrison Ford), or if they'll go crazy and branch off and make sequels until they ruin it... hey, Disney has a bad habit of doing that. Classics like Cinderella shouldn't have sequels.

All I'm going to say is they better not wreck it. My childhood was built on Episodes 4-6.

But back to the beads. I went to Main Street in Ames during what I have taken to calling "The Comedy of Errors" which wasn't funny and was about us buying a house. I'll write another post on that some other time. But I'll try to make it funny, for you. So, Main Street when we had some time while in Ames. I had purchased the bag of dubiously colored seed beads at Hobby Lobby and was now looking for a hair place that was willing to try doing something that strange. I'm always rather afraid to walk into a hair salon with my dreadlocks, for fear some overeager hair technician will assume I am here to get them chopped and will come at me wielding a pair of scissors, complete with horror music and snipping sounds.

So I go into a salon and tell them what I want. The lady thinks about it for a second and then sends me on to the generically named "The Salon." "They do trendier things like that," she informs me.

I am now trendy. Or on my way to being trendy.

In search of my trendy brethren, we set off down the street. Have you ever been to Main Street? It is like the hidden sacred grounds of hair salons. I've seen at least six, just in the western part. Odd thing is, I had never been to most of them. I went into the Turning Heads salon twice: once to get a "consultation" which you still have to pay for, and once to get the hair I was consulting about for my wedding. But now that I rarely need a hair salon, I am discovering their secret breeding grounds, or something. I could've gone to a different salon every time, instead of constantly gracing MasterCuts with my presence.

At the Salon, the people there did indeed look "trendy," in the way you expect from hair salons. Generally, everyone has short hair because they can't resist cutting it, and often strange colors or styling. But they style hair for a living, so it makes sense.

They listened to me, looked at that little bit of deviant hair, and looked at my seed beads. It was actually a person in a chair who seemed to be giving the orders, so I assume she was one of the employees, just getting it dyed because she was bored. They had a tool which was just a bent piece of pliable plastic that you'd stick through the thing you wanted to thread and stick the hair in the other side. Like those things you use to thread needles if the licking-it-and-sticking-it method isn't working. Their plastic thing would not fit through my bead, but they assured me they'd find something that would. Even if they just had to buy a wire and jimmy-rig it.

Just in case, I went back to Hobby Lobby to see if I could find anything similar to the seed beads, but with larger holes. Did you know that they have books that will teach you Chinese brush painting? Although, I have to wonder if the Chinese actually sketched things out with a pencil before hand. And if that is an important part of it, why isn't a pencil included in the Chinese brush sets? Maybe they're just trying to save you money. And I didn't find any better beads.

So today, I dropped the beads off at The Salon, and they are going to try finding a wire that works tomorrow. We'll see if we can get this done. Though, one person said it might need to be two strands... that might be a little too trendy for me.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

What I learned at Hobby Lobby

And so I return to Hobby Lobby during another day I must be in Ames and have the car, but nothing yet to do. Trying to decide if I want more frogs in my hair is better than nothing.
You know, Hobby Lobby is a weird place. It can't seem to decide if it wants to be a hobby place or a decorating place. Or maybe I can't decide. Or maybe decorating is a hobby.
Anyhow, I returned to those seed beads that failed to consider all their primary colors. This time, I asked someone, "why does this so-called multi color pack not include red?" Her answer was, "it does."
I look again. I am still unable to pick out a red bead.
"See, here's one," she shows me in the corner. I examine said red bead. It still looks orange to me. Maybe a different shade of orange, but orange... ish? I keep staring, letting the power of suggestion work over my senses. By the end, it appears red...ish. Close enough.















To pass more time, I wandered through some of the aisles, looking at crafts (and decorations) that I would probably never buy. Knitting with a loom looks severely complicated. Rubber stamps are out of style. I did find a whole bunch of office bling. As in, things for the office that are covered in colored plastic "gems." Isn't that like an anti craft? If your keyboard already has bling all over it, you don't have to do anything to glam it up. And with that attitude, you might as well drive to Target and just buy a sweater instead of looking at yarn.
The most interest aisle was the science projects for kids. I never had a real ant farm even though they fascinated me. And catching black ants and putting them in a jar only works so long... But basically, kids science stuff is the coolest stuff ever, back when the world of science seemed filled with dinosaurs and carnivorous plants and tigers and explorers. My kids are going to love science. And if they don't, I'll just grow all their crystals for them.
But even the science aisle needs checking. I found a plastic wolf labeled lioness, and even further inspection wouldn't surrender that judgement. Also, if you are going to call them "Real Bug Marbles," you should probably explain that spiny spiders and scorpians, while cool, aren't actually bugs. Knowledge gaps of that kind are the type that will get your child made fun of in school by more enlightened children that also tell your kid, "Your epidermis is showing!"  to watch your kid scramble to figure out what is poking out of where.
Don't let your kids be vulnerable to that sort of cruelty; educate them on bugs.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Fitness

So, I have a video for you to watch. It is based on a game called Assassin's Creed and while, to be honest, I actually know very little about the game, the video is pretty sweet. Last I checked, Assassin's Creed was based in medieval times around this assassin. One of the interesting mechanics of the game is the ability to jump off of really high buildings, climb walls, and do crazy acrobatics. It also has beautiful graphics. This video is someone with parkour capabilities dressed like the character from Assassin's Creed.



Have you watched it? Really? I know I skim over videos and look at pictures instead, but this is cool, darn it! I'll have to tell you about the Piano Guys next.

But anyway, did you SEE that? Jumping over things, down things, up things. It's like special effects, but the guy is actually doing it. You've heard of Parkour, right? Parkour is a strange sort of sport that involves building climbing. Or, to quote Wikipedia, "Parkour is a training discipline that developed out of military obstacle course training. Practitioners aim to move from one place to another, negotiating the obstacles in between. The discipline uses no equipment and is non-competitive."

Intense though. I jump around like that and my non-slip shoes slip and I land on my butt, or I land on my feet and hurt my ankles. How does he not hurt his ankles? I'd probably run face-first into a granite slab.

But my question is, can I do that? With lots of practice and so on? No, I don't want to take up parkour. People tend to not like you climbing on their buildings. But I've just accepted the concept of my body being more or less the way it is. I've considered trying to lose weight or pick up Zombies, Run! app for jogging incentive, but the grand goals of these are things like, "run a marathon." Not that I'm making fun of people who run marathons, especially since I am currently unable to run anywhere. But instead of aiming for marathon running, which, let's face it, actually sounds awful, could I aim for something more... elite?

At work, people my age will moan when they have to squat to fill tires and say, "I'm too old for this!" Ok, especially at twenty-five, you shouldn't be too old for it. If you think you are, you are letting yourself down, in my opinion. You are making the choice to move slower, to favor legs or knees... but if you pushed yourself, they might last longer. You're letting yourself get old.

So, to the reverse. Instead of getting old, could I pick up something intense? Could I train my body to the point where I could climb buildings? Do a martial art? Box? In a game I am currently playing they have a monk class. They roll, kick, punch, do stances. It's way cool and reminds me of what little I remember of Tae Kwon Do. Could I learn enough of a martial art to actually be able to use it for something? Is it possible to be anything like the movies? Well, not stuff like Hero and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. That's just insane. But how much awesomeness is possibly somewhat obtainable? Could I hone my body until it is a tool instead of something more like a pet that I take care of and hope it turns out ok? Do I even really want to do it?

I'm moving on Saturday. Moving always makes me think of all the opportunities possible with starting at a new location. And I've had thoughts like this before, switching between a mild "feel good about myself" level of exercise and "go for gold" ideas of exercise (and, admittedly, where I'm currently at of "I don't want exercise to look at me").

People I know and people on Facebook are running. I hate running, but I want to be ABLE to run too.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

As Promised

Now, it's not that I mind my mother reading my blog. I actually enjoy the fact. It's just that when your mother is the only one who appears to notice when you've been lazy about posting that gets rather worrisome. Then you descend into the "my mom thinks I'm awesome!" category that is somewhat equivalent to that idiom, "a face only a mother can love." As in, nobody else thinks you're worth reading.

But all that aside, this one is for you, Mom.

Also, Mom said I should think about decorating our house that we're buying. I told her that I thought about thinking about it. So here are my opinions of decorating: I don't decorate.

Why is it that it's always supposed to be the women who decorate? Where did I get this invisible decorating degree? Why would anyone assume that because I have a matched XX chromosome, I can somehow also match the drapes to the sofa? I only have one concept of furniture, and that is green. Sofas should be green. Cause that's what they were in the house I grew up in. Why? I dunno, are there any other colors for sofas?

Unfortunately, green sofas are just a dream at this point. I am currently saddled with several floral print sofas of dubious origins. I guess that means there is one other thing I know about decorating, and you should be proud because this is an opinion formed all on my own: floral print sofas are ugly. Which is why I have them as they are so often cheap-as-free. Maybe I could recover them or something. But even floral print is better than those ill-fitting sheet things that make it clear you hate your sofa just as much as you hate the idea of spending money on getting a decent recovering job.

But I digress.

I don't decorate. I have a computer game called The Sims 3 in which you run miniature soap operas of digital people in a digital world. Some people say they play it just to build the houses (or like my cousin, just to kill off Sims. Some people are strange in the head). I do not play it to build the houses. I'd use a prebuilt one if I could, but they never put in enough bedrooms or hobby space for my taste, so I have to resort to horrible rectangle things that demonstrate my very sparse view of house design, in that as long as there are walls, roof, and doors, we should be ok.

I wanted a mansion for my vampire/werewolf/etc clan. So I had David build it. But he didn't get as far as decorating. If there is a better example for why I shouldn't decorate, you should see some of the rooms in this place. Also, I can't get the trim to match the wood floors. Irksome. But, also, I get bored and just start throwing things together. This can be the green-themed room!

All this is because we are in the process of purchasing a house. And apparently there are expectations that come with home ownership, such as the owning of furniture, making of meals, and other domestic concerns. And as the person I am living with has an XY chromosome, these expectations fall to me... which is entirely stupid as HE is the one with the design degree, not I.

Here's another example. One of the bathrooms in this place is entirely gutted. To avoid having to travel to the basement every time I need to go in the middle of the night, the upstairs bathroom needs to be finished post-haste. And David is looking for stuff to do it with. He suggested we go to Lowes to take a look at some things. I suggest that I have absolutely no desire to go to Lowes and I just want to go home after we pick up the milk. He tries to deal, will I go if he has me in and out in ten minutes? I return, if it really means that much to you... but you have to take me to Noodles and Co for lunch tomorrow. He tries to bargain and I tell him there is no more bargaining. He's taking me to lunch at Noodles and Co and if it takes more than ten minutes, he's also buying me one of those snickerdoodle cookies the size of your face.

Well, we looked at sinks, I criticized some sinks, and we were out in nine minutes.

The steak stroganoff is delicious, by the way.