Continuing Drama of the Post Office

Have I complained about post offices before? Maybe. I find them seriously confusing, having not grown up around them.

So I need to pick up a package. I go in and see four desk/window opening things and a long line of people holding boxes. I exam the signs. U.S. Shipping. International Shipping. Upgrade Services. Information/Bulk Mailings/Claims & Inquiries. And in case you forget, all desks are labeled "All items must be properly packaged & addressed when presented @ the window."

Well, I am not shipping. I don't care about shipping.

So I wade over to Information. I suppose I should have suspected I wasn't supposed to do that because of several displays in my pathway. But I don't necessarily attribute poor interior design to a purposeful plan to keep people out. So I stand behind a woman heaping praises on the post office service... I wonder how often one has to go to the post office to get such a high opinion of them. Maybe she sells things on Etsy? Maybe she doesn't have an email account? Maybe she's lived in Ames for 46 years? Actually, that one is true.

Anyway, after the woman leaves, the employee looks at me like I'm a dirty hobo tracking mud in and asks, "were you next in line?"

"No, I just want to know where to pick up a package. All the signs are for shipping."

"Well, the best way is just to stay in line." Trespasser, her voice seemed to say.

Well, I wasn't ever in line, but whatever. I go to the end. The lady who had been in front of me tells me that I should stand in line, in a very friendly way, and sometimes someone will come up from the back and ask if anybody is just picking anything up.

"Are you from Ames?" she asks cheerfully. Ugh, not that question. Probably brought on by my clear cluelessness when it comes to post offices.

"My parents are from Iowa," I hedge, ending up revealing my family origins before she bids me good luck and goes on her way.

A man drags a display of holiday packaging material in front of a door. Another interior design error, this one probably meaning they're closed.

How am I supposed to know how this place functions? Are normal American school kids given a class in package shipping? A lesson on how to navigate an archaic place with misleading signage? I suppose it could be that part of the class where they write letters to someone and if they're lucky, that someone is a video game manufacturer who is charmed by the letter and sends the kid free limited edition stuff...

In the end, my little slip that proclaimed my package was "(check mark) At the Post Office" was lying and my package is still in a truck somewhere. The guy was nice, but still told me that like I should have known it. And to be honest, I did wonder about that detail, but I don't know how late those guys stay out.

How was I supposed to know? And when will they invent teleportation so I can ship things straight from the internet?

Tech Arts

Here is a little bit of backstage insight. I have a minor history of running camera. I took an internship at the Iowa Cubs and worked for minimum wage all baseball season home games running camera, switcher, directing, playbacks, etc. It was a pretty good summer gig, even though it was more for broadcasting emphasis than print. But I got to watch baseball all summer and get paid for it. There are worse fates.

Anyway, I learned camera and I learned that camera is actually pretty simple. The point and shoot part. The only finesse you can get at entry level is learning what shots your director wants, what shots look good, and how to zoom and focus smoothly.

So with my expertise and experience, I volunteered for running camera at church. It's fun and it gets me backstage. I like being backstage. In the theater of life, I never want to be center stage. I'd rather be behind the camera than in front of it. One of the stagehands all dressed in black. My biggest acting aspiration is that of an extra. No lines. Dreadlocks.

So, I am somewhat mystified as to the "talent." They are a different breed. We talk about them like objects as we have to capture this angle or that. And I avoid them.

Until recently, when the worship team made the pre-service meetings mandatory for all members. Previously, the cameras crew would lurk in the video room and the worship team in the green room and the lighting and audio crew... well, I don't know where they lurked.

We also got a new name. Instead of video team, I am now a part of "Tech Arts." New name tag too.

But those meetings I find baffling. We all tromp out of the video room through the amp room to the green room. The worship team is already there, draped over the chairs, so I usually take up a wallflower position. In the room I thought was the bathroom, it sounds like some of them are practicing a three part harmony. Russell is talking transitions, "...and after that, it goes into a boom boom budum budum psh..." with the appropriate drum motions. They talk like old friends until about time. Derek had to get them to let us camera people out early so we could be in position on time. And occasionally, they go over things that we might actually need to know, like a prayer in between songs, who's leading, etc. Things that could be covered by a good itinerary.

I don't think these meetings help us as much as they think they help us.

But camaraderie and inclusiveness! Maybe I'm an elitist, maybe I'm just a recluse, but I could do without. Oh well, I can spend my time studying that strange species, The Musician.