Parallel Lives... In My Head

I had an interview for a job today, part-time receptionist position at McFarland Clinic. In all, the interview went well. She said my dreads were not an issue and would pass my application up the chain. I guess that either they'll pick from her picks, or I might have another interview with the specific branch.

But it's not just an interview, ever. Every time I interview for a job, I live a lifetime in that job in my head. Sometimes it's fanciful. Sometimes it's grounded in reality. But it's always me trying to see if I can cope with working at that place. Because if I work somewhere over a month, it might as well be forever. I live in the moment (except when I have something to worry about). If something is over a week away, it might as well not be happening

And so, I was a receptionist in my head. I had a little desk, computer set up. Was polite. Had inter-office conflicts. Learned what the other receptionists did in their free time. Wondered if I had free time. Learned. Walked to work in the snow. Decorated the office for Christmas. And in all, it looked ok.

I have to know that because I'm scared I'll get stuck in a job I don't like without moving as an excuse. They said it's a high stress job. I've been in high stress situations and as long as there is structure, I can cope.

With Wheatsfield, I saw myself going to classes and getting connected with the hippies and when I had my first child, carrying them in a sling while checking people out (a woman there totally does that and it's adorable). It was the idea of community and fun coworkers.

Also, I wanted to be a pilot. I imaged flying and long trips and wheeling identical little suitcases through airports.

With Valvoline Instant Oil Change, I thought I'd become an awesome mechanic person. Then, you know, reality. Dream killer, that.

Oh, I'm scared to work! I'm scared to set a schedule and then have to meet it and request time off and so on. It's not that I am doing anything. It's that I have the infinite possibility to do things!

But I like money, too.

Oh, if I get a job at McFarland Clinic, I'd be required to get a flu shot every year. That or wear a face mask for all of flu season. I mentioned it to Mom, and she said, "small price to pay for a job." My convictions and principles are a small price to pay?

Eh. I'd get the shot. Ain't no way I'm wearing a mask for five months.