Gravlin Offspring Report

Mom Grumpy In Morning!

05:40: Dad drops phone on hardwood floor. Apologizes.
06:20: Genevieve wakes up. Mom declares it "still dark." Returns to crib.
07:00: Genevieve wakes up. Mom declares it "buttcrack of dawn," and grudgingly allows it to be "morning."

Genevieve tests structural integrity of blueberries. Finds them squishy.

No public art grant forthcoming for blue masterpiece on high chair tray.

Reports of "Werechuck" Continue to Spread

Wood keeps showing up marked with teeth. What furniture will fall next to the fearsome specter of teething baby?

All Babies Polled Find Grammy's Face Smile-Worthy

Today's Report Brought to You by the Sound "Doi Doi Doi."

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya...

Don't get me wrong, I love name stickers. I'm horrible with names, which, yes, I recognize is my fault. I could have been born with a mind like a steel trap, but even though I wasn't, I know I could improve my memory, use memory tricks, write names down, or just pay more attention. So I love it when everyone is wearing a name tag and we don't have to try and impress each other with how much we can remember everyone else's name.

I knew a girl once who introduced herself to me every time we met. I knew she knew who I was, and finally, after like the third or fourth time, I'm like, "Yeah, I remember you." She was one of those striking people who stick in your mind, so I actually remembered her name most of the times. But I appreciated the courtesy of "I don't always expect you to remember my name I told you once, so just to remove any awkward pretending, here's my name again."

That said...

Why do these stickers say "Hello, my name is..."?

Having my name there is nice. Having my stickers introduce me is a little weird. Can I skip introducing myself then?

Maybe the stickers don't go far enough. Why don't I also have a sticker that says, "How are you?" and another with "I am well, thanks for asking," "It was nice meeting you." and finally, "Have a nice day." That way, I can put them all in a column on my shirt and point to them in succession, skipping conversation and small talk entirely. An introvert's dream.

International Women's Day

On this, International Women's Day, I would like to shout out to a woman who modeled what it is to be a woman for me.

A woman who is strong and independent.

A woman who believe's in God's roles for women, not that they make us any weaker or less equal, but we have been given a different job here on Earth.

A woman who loves her husband and loves her children, all dearly, and is not afraid to open her heart.

A woman who is Proverbs 31, clothing herself in strength.

A woman who is fun to be around.

A woman who loves being a woman and all God's blessings for her.

A woman who always speaks truth to me and gives me advice in things intimate.

A woman who is my best friend.

I love you, Mom.

"Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who hath created these things." - Isaiah 40:26

"Nature to a saint is sacramental. If we are children of God, we have tremendous treasure in Nature. In every wind that blows, in every night and day of the year, in every sign of the sky, in every blossoming and in every withering of the earth, there is a real coming of God to us if we will simply used our starved imagination to realize it."

- Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Babywearing and I

Having had a difficult time with starting babywearing and everyone seeming to have their own experience, I figured I'd relate mine. You know, for posterity.

Crap, I'm going to be a mommy blogger, aren't I?

*sigh* Think I could market a blog that partly talks about my baby and partly talks about my libertarian political opinions? No?

Anyway, I was planning on babywearing long before Genevieve was born. I have leanings toward being a "crunchy mama," that is very natural, organic, attachment parenting, etc. Not full on, just leanings. For example, I never wanted to co-sleep (although I was willing to recognize the extent I would go just to get some sleep) and Genevieve is not a cuddly baby, so all good. No co-sleeping here. But my mother had made a ring sling for her second child, my younger brother, and proceeded to wear all her subsequent babies and loved it. I'd heard a lot of good things about babywearing. My mother also made me a sling.

When Genevieve was first born, I was scared to do anything with that tiny little scrunchy baby. I had Mom wear her first, then show me. By the time Genevieve was four or five weeks, I thought that thing was magic. She didn't have colic, but she was a fussy newborn. She could be crying and I'd pop her in the sling and start walking and within minutes she'd pass out. I went on so many walks and my body wasn't healed yet... yeah.

Enter week six. It's like right after the first Wonder Week. Genevieve suddenly discovers there is a world outside of the sling. She would plant her hands on my chest and push her head all the way backward, looking at the world upside-down. Instead of sleeping, she'd start fussing within fifteen minutes. I went to a babywearing group. "No, you're doing it right. It's not you, it's her."

My babywearing dreams were shattered. I started using the stroller since she liked the movement and would eventually fall asleep in that. I would get mad at articles like "How Babywearing Literally Saved My Life." She could go hiking and eat at an oyster bar and have her life back and I would struggle to get the stroller up the step into the tea shop. Other moms going to some of the nursing support groups I went to would be babywearing and I would be taking up half the space with my giant stroller. I was reduced to dreaming, "maybe the next baby would let me wear him..."

I picked up a babywearing book through interlibrary loan. Aside from feeling bad since the first several chapters were on how awesome and natural babywearing was (her baby just snuggled down and went to sleep!), there was one helpful note: "Wear your baby in the position she likes to be carried."

Genevieve insisted on being carried facing out. She would fuss if she was turned in toward shoulder or chest or cradled. But the quickest way to calm her down was to face her out, and then apply bouncing, or bouncing to Irish music as needed. But babies don't have much head control and you weren't supposed to face them out until 3-4+ months. There's also some "controversy" where people argue that forward facing can cause hip dysplasia and overstimulation, although generally people now agree that it doesn't cause hip dysplasia (although might not be good if your baby already has it) and you can turn your baby toward you in the event of overstimulation.

So I waited until then and revisited my local babywearing group that had a lending library of many different types of carriers.


This time I walked out with an Infantino Wrap & Tie Mei Tai-style carrier that had a forward-facing option. It's discontinued, but you can still pick it up on Ebay. I loved this carrier so much that I went and purchased one before I had to return the lending library one at the end of a month. Genevieve would sit in it for long periods of time (usually until she got tired and needed a nap), happily looking around, kicking her legs, and smiling at people who would talk to her. She became my companion on trips to the library or grocery store and it seemed like the world opened up. When she would start to get fussy at the end of a wake period, I would strap her on and go on a walk and she would calm down and enjoy the scenery.





















Through the lending library, I was able to try several different carriers and finally decided my favorite was the Beco Gemini. It was comfortable and easy. I put it on my Christmas list.

Meanwhile, Genevieve got older. She learned she could turn her head, she learned how to track moving objects, she learned that things existed beyond her range of vision and how to find them. Gradually, I was able to carry her on my hip. She still wasn't very elegant in front-face-in and would keep trying to look around, but she didn't cry. I could carry her how I wanted. I tend to fall prey to the idea that Genevieve won't change, she will always be fussy or needing constant entertainment or bad at napping or having to be worn face-forward. Babies aren't like that. Babies change.

I got the Beco Gemini for Christmas and broke it in trail-walking with Genevieve on my back. I wore her to the library facing out in a little warm bear suit. She got sick and I carried her around facing in since all she wanted was to be held.




















She still has a hard time napping in it. Some babies just pass out or sit contentedly. Genevieve has to be able to see what's going on. She has to be really super tired to fall asleep, and then she doesn't sleep for long. But she's fallen asleep in the ring sling and once on David's back as he was moving his sister, which was pretty cute.

So, all in all, my baby who hated being in the ring sling became a babywearing baby after all. And I love wearing her around.

I think I'd look great with Vulcan ears

I wish I was a Vulcan. Cool. Dispassionate. Not given to emotions. Logical. Awesome pointy ears. I know I'm a girl, and that's precisely why I want to be Vulcan. Have you ever broke down crying when your boss yells at you? Being a girl can suck.

I've noticed a new wave of emotions since having a baby. It could be hormonal, I suppose. I had normal girl hormones before and pregnancy is like adding five new ingredients, turning up the heat, and stirring the pot rapidly. Childbirth is where that mixture explodes and your body and hormones may be similar to the ones you had before, or you may carry an eternal aversion to vinegar and a higher propensity to get canker sores and cavities. I'm still sorting out the damage. (Men. Be thankful you are men.)

So I'm not sure if my body is trying to kick start back into normal gear and keeps hitting me with these random emotional spikes, or I am the new owner of a set of supercharged mom emotions, but I keep crying over the littlest things.

I went and watched the Warcraft movie within a few weeks of Genevieve's birth. It's a high fantasy movie based on the high fantasy computer game World of Warcraft. So there are orcs, but they aren't Tolkien's orcs. They do tend to be violent and bloodthirsty, but they are a strong tribal society valuing family and clan and the honor of a good fight. One of the orcs is pregnant and her and her husband go with an invading force, and when they turn against the wrong of their fellow orcs, both her and her husband are killed. The baby, still very young, was in a basket on his mother's back, and, Moses-style, he is cast into the river to save him. And he makes all these little baby noises that I knew now being a new mom and I almost started crying in the theater.

I heard a story of missionaries in China during the Boxer rebellion and when they came for them, the mother hid her six-month-old daughter with a note on her explaining what had happened, went out, and was executed. The baby was found alive two days later, but I cried thinking of the baby all alone, nobody to hear her cries or feed her or change her diaper.

I got mad watching Maleficent and seeing the incompetent pixies give the baby princess carrots to eat by plopping them in her bassinet and then all sleeping that night, deaf to her cries of hunger. FEED THE BABY!

This happens with startling frequency. A baby lives in my heart and so my heart bleeds for babies. I already had this weird protective streak that although I didn't want children for the longest time, something would stir in me whenever I heard of them being hurt or abused or their innocence stolen and childhood ended long before they actually grew up. It's a noble sentiment, but I hate breaking into uncontrollable tears. I hate crying. I hate the weakness of emotions.

So the thing that set me off yesterday and continues to make me cry whenever I relate it to anyone was a stupid .gif on Facebook that was clearly meant to be funny. You could say it "triggered" me. It looks like and old-style painting of a woman stirring her pot on a stove. She moves like a paper doll and lifts her spoon out of the pot. And then, out of the pot, comes a little hand, chubby, fingers spread, reaching, searching. The women then uses her spoon to poke the hand back in the pot.

I stared in shock as the .gif replayed, the hand continuing to reach, the woman continuing to cook. It is supposed to be funny, I tried to tell myself. A woman cooking a baby is supposed to be funny. Tears started rolling down my cheeks. I know I have a problem with over-analyzing everything, but HOW is this funny? Is it the flagrant disrespect for human life that is in imagining a helpless infant being literally cooked alive? Is the baby reaching out for help, or are we pretending that the baby is actually somehow fine despite the flames under the pot and the baby is just reaching playfully? How many times has my own baby lifted her chubby little hand, fingers spread, to my face to touch it?

Every time I've recounted my horror at this .gif, I've started crying. I'm crying now. It makes me want to cry out to God for forgiveness for our country as we've allowed ourselves to forget that babies, even ones not yet born, are lives, souls, people.

Bah. I hate crying. Even when the situation seems to deserve it.

We're sorry. So sorry.

Michael Moore posted this on Facebook. I know because friend of a friend or something.

1. Hello rest of the world! My fellow Americans are asleep right now so I thought we could talk privately and maybe I can explain what happened yesterday.

2. Hillary Clinton won the election on Nov 8 by 2.8 million votes over Donald Trump. Which is to say, she lost. You are correct, this is not a democracy.

3. Back in the 1700s, in order to get the slave states to join the USA, the founders gave those states "extra votes", letting them count their slaves but not let them vote.

4. So yes, it is ironic that this racist idea called the Electoral College has, 225 years later, ended up benefiting the candidate who spewed racism hate.

5. Trump is not president until he's given the oath of office at noon on Jan 20th. So we will continue to fight and hope to find a legal, nonviolent way to stop this madness.

6. Ok, people are starting to wake up in the US. I wish I could give u better news. As bad as it seems, I'm sorry to tell you, it will be worse. We are a broken country at this point.

There seems to be a lot of stupid in this and it bugs me so much that I want to address it.

1. Obviously you know that posting it on Facebook in English hardly makes it private from your "fellow Americans" so the whole framing of the post is just a story you're telling yourself. Got a lot of the rest of the world following you on Facebook, Moore?

2. Clinton did not win the election. She got more votes. And no, it's not a democracy. It's a Republic. "A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the majority discovers it can vote itself largess out of the public treasury." It's purposeful.

3. I don't know of the validity of this. I would think that since it's population based, it would be current to today's population? Anyway, just because something has bad origins doesn't mean it's a bad idea. The slavery part aside, that doesn't mean the electoral collage is bad.

4. Ironic. And irrelevant.

5. What are you going to do? I know leftist think that Obama was the best thing since sliced bread, but you know some of us felt like the world was ending under him and we didn't throw a hissy fit. I hope you think he is bad enough to rip the country apart over, because denying our laws and process and a valid election (Russia may have tried to change your minds, but they didn't reopen the investigation) would destroy our civilization.

6. It's funny that you think the rest of the world is sitting around with bated breath being like, "Will Clinton, the defender of LGBTQs, abortion rights, and everything good in the world manage to make a comeback or will the evil racist narcissist Trump get into the White House?" Because, point #1, you aren't actually talking to the rest of the world, you're telling a story to America. And this is a Facebook post... you have plenty of space to spell out "you."

But the one idea that really strikes me wrong is the idea that the rest of the world cares. The rest of the world is somehow comprised of bleeding heart liberals who are appalled at those right-wing Republican Trump voters. Ah yes, we, the kind and gracious leader of the world were corrupted from inside. We are no longer worthy of you following us.

Maybe there's a few countries like that. I don't know which ones they are. But a lot of the world doesn't give a crap about LGBTQ rights and abortion rights and whatever is in the liberal agenda for today. A lot of countries are very racist. They treat women as second class citizens. They practice female genital mutilation. They kill dissidents and protesters and journalists who publish articles disagreeing with them. And LGBTQs. I'm sure they're all torn up about it.

Don't get me wrong, the US drives me crazy sometimes. I think taxes are just short of theft and our basic rights, including the right of association, are being quashed. We're reaching the level of thoughtcrime with our PC patrol of speech.

But this is one of the best places to live if you are a woman. Or a Christian. Or black. Or Jewish. Apologizing to the other countries for that?

Most of them probably only care what's in it for them. Can they pay enough money to buy out Clinton? Can they "make good deals" and have Trump give their evil a blind eye? We're sorry, we're sorry, some people are against trans people using the bathroom they want. Think that goes over in Saudi Arabia? They're all tore up about it.

Syria and Iran and Ukraine probably care. The US has their fingers really deep in those pies, so it does directly influence them. I wonder who they actually rooted for.

Why yes, I would like some cheese. And definitely some wine.

This isn't a "mommy" blog. I don't have some grand conclusion that affirms all your hard work or decisions or whatever. I don't have beautifully lit photos of baby shoes or whatever.

I could get you a video of her polka-dot butt rocking around in her crib as she fights a nap.

This is real. This is raw. This is beautiful. This is a sad baby who doesn't like naps.

Basically, I'm just here to gripe.

I'm past the days where I wish I wasn't a parent. I have entered the days of wishing I could take a break. You know, maybe use a vacation day, take the day off, go away for the weekend, or even just have her take an hour and a half nap instead of a forty-five minute nap.

I fantasize about it, about giving her to Grammy for the night, but to be honest, if Genevieve doesn't wake me up by like 03:30, I wake up on my own and worry until she does. So I won't be getting any sleep if I gave her away for the night. Which I've already made pretty much impossible by exclusively breastfeeding anyway (partially a desire to give my baby the best, partially pure laziness cause it's super easy). And if Grammy does take her for a few hours, gradually my mind won't think about anything else until she's back in my arms. Heck, if she's in bed asleep for a few hours before I go to bed, I'm already kind of looking forward to her waking up and nursing her.

Until she actually does wake up, of course. What, it's not even midnight! Seriously, baby!

The past couple of days, she's seemed extra fussy. She'll play with a toy until she gets frustrated and throws a fit and nothing makes her happy except to be carried around bounced. I, of course, try and find the reason. Stomach troubles? Teething? Wonder week? Tired? Or, worst of all, a highly opinionated baby with no attention span who needs to be constantly entertained and will be like this for the rest of her life?

That's about the time I want to check out. Pray about it, is advice, but God is probably getting sick of my "please please please let her take longer than forty-five minute naps." He certainly hasn't done anything about it. Although, she has also lived through every night, so he's answering some.

It's just, this Friday, it's hard to have her scream in my ear and know I have to deal with it. Until nap time. Until bedtime. Until tomorrow. Until next week. Until next month. Until next year. Until high school graduation. I don't get to tap out, I don't get to take the weekend off.

Oh sure, "it gets better" and "this too shall pass," but honestly unless it gets better tomorrow, it might as well be high school graduation for me.

Things have gotten better, way better since the beginning. Dang it brain, I wanted to just complain, why do you have to bring that up?

Whatever. Basic point, Princess Fussbudget is hard to deal with and it's too cold outside to go on walks and I want the weekend off. With whine, wine, and cheese.

Edit: I think her naps are getting shorter.

The Two Evils

I posted this on Facebook:

It's almost funny (if it weren't so sad) how every new Clinton cover-up or Trump being disgusting seems so shocking to everyone from the other side. We all know by now that Clinton is a lying corrupt crook and Trump is a crazy chauvinist pig. Good luck convincing the die-hards, they don't seem to care.

I admit, I have voted the lesser of the two evils before. It has a twisted, compelling logic. But this election, I can't stomach either candidate. They are both simultaneously the worst possible candidate ever. I don't share ideals with Clinton (and don't think she's honest enough to enact anything that doesn't benefit her at the moment) and while Trump occasionally says something useful, he tends to change his mind several times and forget he ever said anything to that effect and is also untrustworthy (and very dangerously thin-skinned).

So I can't vote for either. And I urge everyone else to vote their conscience. The two-party system uses and abuses it's voters for their own ends and if we swallow our pride and morals and keep falling in line with the party we think might align the closest, we both lose our integrity and strengthen the stranglehold the parties have over us.

If one of these candidates represents you, like you really actually agree with or like them, then go for it.

But the only way we'll ever escape this trap of huge political parties dictating down to us, giving us "democracy" while depriving us of making choices we actually want to make is to take the power from them. If people stop going along with the corruption and start voting third party or getting involved locally or writing letters or something else to make a change, we might eventually get through to them. Eventually topple the giants. It might not happen this election. I think the Republican party could be mortally wounded and the Democratic party has lost faith with many of their followers. But say we pour our votes into other candidates. Maybe one of the crooks would still win. But they'll see the trend. They'll see we are starting to question what they always told us. Maybe they'll soften back toward their base. Maybe they'll tighten their grip until we slip from them.

I also urge you to vote for someone actually running for president. If you feel the need to write in a candidate, if nobody really matches, then go ahead and do that. But I think that if other candidates surge, if enough of us throw our support behind them, it will make more of an impact (of course, Mickey Mouse could end up being president this year).

I've seen Gary Johnson's name tossed up a lot. I'm a libertarian by philosophy, but not part of the the Libertarian Party, and honestly I've heard he's not that good of a libertarian, so I probably won't support him.

Jill Stein is running for the Green party. Not my party, but it could be yours.

Evan McMullin is a name I've heard and he seems pretty good on some of my issues and seems level-headed.

Darrel Castle is running for the Constitution Party. I agree with the Constitution, but their key issues seems to be a little narrow in focus, leaving off some other issues I care about.

I don't know, there could be others. Find them. Read about them. Maybe still vote for Mickey Mouse or Ron Paul or Bernie Sanders or your pastor or your dad. But I'd like to at least start showing the two-party establishment that we're not always just going to bow our heads and go along when they get farther and farther away from representing us.

Oh, and I'm not part of the Republican Party. I only joined back up to vote in the caucuses and left again. It will not be my fault if Trump loses. It will be Trump's fault for alienating so many people and being so seriously flawed.

Non-Facebook, now. I just wanted to add that this election might seem dire, close to apocalyptic. Certainly the commentators and newscasters and candidates themselves try and sell that line. But, like my father always said, "Christ and the Church." Volunteer locally. Spend time with your family. Attend church. Do God's work where you can. Pray. PRAY. Christians have been through much worse and we've been blessed to have a country so aligned to our ideals for these past couple hundred years. If it comes to an end, know it's been bad before, it could be bad again, but our faith is not up for election and Christ will not cease to be if the "wrong" person gets elected. See the beauty in the fall leaves and pray.

Why did babies get a startle reflex and not a sleep one?

Naptime with the swaddle:
Ginny: I'm so sleepy...
Me: Let's wrap you up and put you to bed.
Ginny: No, I'm fine! I don't want to nap.
*give her the pacifier and place my hand on her chest*
Ginny: Pacifier is fun. And woah, I'm tired. Actually, here's the pacifier back. My eyes aren't opening anymore. Zzzz...

Naptime without the swaddle:
Ginny: I'm so sleepy.
Me: Here is your crib.
Ginny: No, I'm fine, I don't want to nap!
Me: Umm... here's the pacifier?
*tries to give pacifier*
Ginny: You're doing it wrong. Let me hold it. And hold your hand. With both my hands. And wait, I can roll over. *rolls over* I don't want to be in the crib! *cries*
*tries to give pacifier*
Ginny: Hmm, pacifier. Let me hold it. No, wait, I'm on to you. I don't want to be here! *cries**gets head up, moves head to the other side* I don't like this side! *cries**gets head up, moves head to other side*
Me: Pacifier?
Ginny: I hate your stupid pacifier! And now my sheets are wet! *cries*
Me: They wouldn't be wet if you stopped crying on them. *moves baby*
Ginny: I don't want to nap! You can't make me! *cries*
Me: You sound completely exhausted...
Ginny: But I hate sleeping! *cries*
Me: Let's try your back.
Ginny: Hey, you moved me. Am I getting up?
*put hand on her chest and offer pacifier*
Ginny: Oh, that pacifier thing again. Nah, I want to roll over. Your hand is holding me back. I want to roll over! *cries and struggles*
*remove hand*
*rolls over* Man, I'm so tired. I'm so tired it makes me upset. *cries*
Me: You need to sleep, little girl.
Ginny: I don't know how to sleep! I'm so tired! *cries*
*pats back ineffectually. Offers pacifier*
Ginny: I don't want it! I'm too tired! *cries**blinks heavily**starts just fussing* This sucks! *cries hysterically, pushes head up*
*stands there ineffectually*
Ginny: I'm so tired I can't sleep. *cries exhaustedly**cries hysterically**cries exhaustedly**cries hysterically**cries exhaustedly*
Me: *cries*

23:30... why...

First off, in response to my last post.

There. Headband. Only way I could make it more obvious is to put a stamp on her forehead that says "girl."

So it is 23:30. And I'm awake.

Last night, I couldn't get to sleep. I was just falling asleep at 02:00 when Ginny woke up for the first time. I must be going through a sleeping regression. And here I thought Ginny was the one who was supposed to get those.

It's bad enough when Ginny manages to sleep until like 03:30 or 04:00 and I wake up at 03:30 and worry that she died in her sleep or something which negates the point of her sleeping for seven to eight hours in a row. Clearly I'm not ready for her to sleep through the night. If she would only get to the point where she would actually go to sleep at bedtime and then only wake up once during the night at like 03:30... Perfect. Almost. Perfect for me at this time.

Or whatever stage of life I was in before last night. So last night I couldn't sleep and I was super sleepy tired all day today. Ginny has a sixth sense about when I leave the house or need a nap and she shortens hers accordingly, so my daughter took mostly short naps all day and as a result, I didn't get a nap. And there's nothing more disappointing then almost falling asleep and then hearing a baby cry and knowing you have to get up for it. First world problems, I can't deal with it.

I'm like, "Hey, tonight I'll crash. It will be good."

Well...

I don't know, my throat is kind of scratchy. It keeps drying out when I breathe in and that's super irritating. So instead of tossing for three hours, I got up and made myself some echinacea tea, which I generally just refer to as "immune boosting tea" because I can't pronounce echinacea, after googling if it was safe while nursing of course. I was going to add honey and lemon for throat coating, but my lemon juice expired like three years ago, so I just added honey and honey in tea is gross.

My tea is gone now. I guess I'll go and try and sleep again. Seriously, if I don't get sleep, I'll be like the walking dead tomorrow and that's no good way to take care of a baby.

On the appropriate color coding of infants

On Sunday, my child wore this:

It's a bit blurry because my husband is bouncing her. She has to be in a constant state of motion or have something to look at while awake.

It's basically a white onesie with ruffled sleeves with pink on the edges, light pink pants, and pink-striped socks.

And she got mistaken for a boy twice.

David says people always assume babies are boys.

Hence all the pink.

Look, there are two reasons I dress my child in pink even though I do not like the color and I don't particularly like that girls are always assigned pink.
1) I want to communicate her gender accurately more than I dislike that social shortcut.
2) Most of her clothes were given to me and are, as a result, pink. Heck, even some of the stuff I bought was pink. But with cute little foxes on them.

Anyway, I don't want people to think she is a boy, largely because I highly value clear communication. And then I feel obligated to correct them whenever they assume she is a boy, or at least head off the question. Kids her age don't have a whole lot to their identities other than their first and middle name, family position, gender, and amount of hours they sleep at night. Cause that's what everybody asks.

Sidetrack for a moment. Why does everyone ask if she is sleeping through the night? I've heard people ask the mother of a two-week-old if he was sleeping through the night. At two weeks, they generally advise you to wake the baby up like every four hours to feed if they aren't waking up on their own, so it'd be a bad sign if they were sleeping through that! I never asked anybody that until after I had a kid, and the reason I ask is for polling data. How does my child measure up to the norm? Are other people in my boat? He still wakes up three-plus times? I feel your pain.

In case you're wondering, no, she isn't sleeping through the night. Generally though she wakes up an average of two times and goes back to sleep after nursing pretty easy and doesn't wake up for the morning until usually after seven. Could it be better? Much. Would I prefer it better? Definitely. Livable? Yes, way better than 0-2. So given the options, I'll take this.

Where was I? Ah yes. The proper color coding of infants.

I like dressing her in stuff that is either girly-styled or girly-colored, although preferably not too much of both at the same time.

I tend to like things that use bold colors, like orange and turquoise, patterns like arrows, or girly up an outfit, like a lacy onesie under blue denim overalls. Feminine touches to gender-neutral things.

Sunday's outfit was a vague reflection of mine as I didn't feel like wearing a skirt and so wore khaki capris. And clearly, I failed in my attempts to communicate (through the liberal application of pink) her gender.

Why do I care if people think she's a boy? Why do I need her to look like a girl? Gender is fluid?

No. I'm not even getting into that. We're talking about when the world was normal.

At any rate, I prefer it when other people dress their kids in something that at least hints as to their sex so I can use the proper pronouns when talking about him or her. Asking "is it a boy or a girl?" can be construed as insulting (especially if the child in question is older).

And so I am failing. I guess the pink pants were too light-colored. I need to up my game. More frills? Skirts? Headbands? Earrings? A label on her forehead?

On headbands... I've never really gotten into those for babies. I mean she doesn't have hair... so what's the point? I have seen some babies with impressive full heads of hair and headbands look cute on them, but on my baby's bald noggin?

Ah well, if it's for communication... anybody know some cute, yet comfortable headbands that are about as obvious as a label maker?

Behold the baby glory.

No, she's a girl.

I can't keep a plant alive and you expect me to raise a kid?

Two months in to motherhood and I live in fear of one particular thing. Well, two if you count Princess Fussbudget's bad moods.

I am afraid of the eternal Forming Bad Habits. It is the specter that lurks behind every decision I make, the start of every day, every time I get up in the middle of the night. It is the nightmare that haunts my plans and dreams of the future.

So The Books say to put baby on a routine. Not a schedule, mind you, a routine. A schedule says they eat at 10:30, stay awake until 11:30, and then nap until 13:30 and then eat again. A routine says that they eat when they wake up, stay up for about an hour or whenever they start showing tired cues, go down for a 1 1/2 to 2 hour nap, and when they wake up, they eat again. If they get hungry in the meantime, really actually hungry, you can feed them again instead of holding off until the clock.

A routine is the greatest thing for babies, the best thing since sliced bread. Touchy babies are comforted by routine, babies are build for routine, they like knowing what comes next. Routine routine routine. It will save your sanity, your sleep, your marriage, your life, whatever. Eat/wake/sleep routine is where it's at. Or so they tell me.

So I want wakeup time to be 07:30-08:00. What do I do when she wakes up at 06:30? What about 07:00? Feed her and put her back? Consider it her getting up? Let her cry it out? If I get her up, won't that reinforce her bad habit of waking up early?

So I feed her at 02:30. What do I do when she wakes up again at 04:00 and wants to eat? Babies can go a lot longer than that without eating, but that's what she wants. Do I spend half an hour trying to calm her back to sleep (to sleep or just to drowsy?) or do I feed her and let her fall asleep on the breast in fifteen minutes? Feeding her again so soon, that probably forms bad habits of waking up too much and letting her fall asleep while nursing is also a no-no, so I'm committing like double sin or something. But it takes fifteen minutes and often I don't even have to go back in to get her back to sleep. Then I get to go to bed. And I like my sleep.

Often during the day she asks to nurse maybe a half hour to an hour after I fed her. She doesn't need it. I'm relatively sure she isn't actually hungry. She just wants to nurse, for comfort I assume. That's not part of the routine! I'm sure nursing her all the time will form a bad habit.

What about when I put her down for a nap and she wakes up forty-five minutes later and wants to nurse (nursing after waking up is the part of the routine she seems to agree on)? Probably a bad habit.

I had been putting her down for naps in her crib (after she no longer seemed to be able to sleep on the couch) and those worked fairly well for a couple of weeks. I would go in and unswaddle her to encourage her to wake up at the end of two hours. It was great, everything seemed to be working, I got things done. 'Course, at that point I worried about putting her down to sleep too soon after her waking up, but I swear she was yawning a bunch and then getting fussy. Now, she seems to wake up in her crib after forty-five minutes to an hour, but if I let her fall asleep in her bouncy chair, she can sleep for two hours easily. She rouses from time to time and I just keep bouncing her with my foot and she'll put herself back to sleep (kind of like while I'm typing this). Is letting her nap in her bouncy chair a bad habit? I'm not sure what it's enforcing... getting used to being bounced, or not getting used to her crib.

There seems to be so many bad habits to try and avoid and the girl is only two months old. I can only imagine how much I'm going to mess her up by the time she hits three. Or thirteen. Or eighteen. And I'm sure it will be some sort of blowback from that time I let her sleep in the bouncy chair as a child. Wait for a psychologist to bring that up someday.

Look at all the evil sleeping habits she's been infected with:

I'm sure it's my fault when she doesn't sleep at night.

I have a theory...

My baby (or LO) turns two months tomorrow.

I don't actually know what LO means. I presume "Little One?" It's a shorthand I see frequently on stuff like the Birthways Breastfeeding Support Facebook group and the Ames Babywearing and Beyond group. I don't get it. I mean, it's fine calling your baby "Little One," as its a nice gender-neutral non-specific-age term of endearment, but why abbreviate it? While, yes, it takes about half a second longer to type out little one than LO, this is a PC with a full keyboard. I'm not texting. Heck, autocorrect even made abbreviations old fashioned. Seems weird. It's also another one of those random things that I've learned since becoming a mom. Like you have no idea how many new words I learned that relate to breastfeeding...

Anyway, that's not where I was trying to go with this.

I frequently have questioned how on earth people could have more than one kid. Like I said, my "LO" is turning two months tomorrow. During those two months, I have been cried at, had to get up multiple times a night (usually three, not counting all the times fifteen minutes later to calm her back to sleep), had to spend inordinate amounts of time bouncing, can't seem to take a minute to myself to dress or eat breakfast unless I wait for her nap time, have to watch my alcohol consumption and timing, been pooped on, changed multiple diapers, can't get away for more than a couple hours, and let's not even talk about how I haven't slept for more than four hours in a stretch and usually no more than six a night for those two months and not even a smile in repayment from a super-demanding tiny individual. And this was all after the traumatizing birth (that also kept me up all night) that ended with me in the operating room with a third degree laceration. Why would people repeat that? I love my little girl, but man, why try this over again?

People all tell me it gets better, but can you truly forget all of this within a year or two?

I have discovered the answer: sleep deprivation. Oh, you think it's a bad thing? Well, yes, it's a bad thing. There have been days where I have been dead on my feet and nights I cry in desperation when I hear her start to cry again after I had just begun to drift off, clocking only three hours of sleep by 3am. Sleep deprivation sucks. BUT, sleep deprivation brings memory loss.

Sleep-deprivation based amnesia. That must be the answer. For example, I honestly cannot remember how many times I got up last night. I know she woke up at 01:30ish, and again at 03:00ish (which is stupid), but I can't for the life of me remember if she woke up at 05:00ish or not. I thought she did, but examining that idea more closely, I found I couldn't link any memories with that specifically. Kind of like how you sometimes can't remember if you brushed your teeth because you've done it so dang often that it all seems the same and you can't tell if your teeth-brushing memory is from this morning or yesterday morning or a week ago.

So in six months or whenever she hopefully starts sleeping through the night and I start getting normal amounts of sleep, this whole episode will fade to the murky consistency of a dream. Kind of like how right after she was born, I'm like "If this is the way childbirth goes, I am never doing it again," and then I was sleep deprived because labor had started at like 22:30 (not when I would choose to run a marathon) and then it was exhausting and then I was drugged for the OR and all groggy and I haven't had a good night's sleep ever since. And I talk about "next time."

Well, it's either the sleep thing or kids get a lot more fun later on. Hard to imagine at this point (this week, she's cut her nap times in half).

(Ironic onesie)

The answer is out there, somewhere.

Another reason I haven't posted much is that I don't know the direction I want to take this blog. Not like it had a perceptible focus before. Looking back on my posts, it seems mostly just my ruminations about news stories, happenings where I live, and politics. But now I have a baby. It seems there are plenty of successful "mom" blogs out there, and I don't really feel like I have anything to add to that discussion, especially since I'm the one going to those blogs looking for answers.

But, at this point, how can I think of anything else?

I have a fussy baby. I am still in the diagnostics phase. Is she lactose-intolerant, frequently overtired, wanting to nurse more, spirited, high-need, touchy, etc (or normal and I'm just a first time mom and wasn't prepared for this level of fuss)?

Also, did you know my way of coping with stress was the research the hell out of it? David has taken to yelling, "No more books!" whenever a new book on parenting shows up from the library. But it seems like a problem to me, and problems can be fixed, or dealt with. Or at the very least, maybe I could prepare myself for an 18-year battle of the wills after which she will move out of the house, get a tattoo, and date a jerk for a while before maybe realizing that Mom was right some of the time.

Genevieve likes: bouncing, nursing
Genevieve tolerates: sling rides, stroller rides
Genevieve dislikes: most things that are not bouncing or nursing, including diaper changes, being put down, being held while not bounced, car rides, baths, and so on.

What do I do?

"Just love her," says my mom and David.

But I'm sure I'll find some sort of clear definitive answer in a book or on the Internet somewhere that will give me clear strategies on whatever it is Princess Fussbudget wants and how to deal with her.

Unless dealing with her involves constant bouncing. I'm not sure which muscle groups are involved in bouncing, but I expect they'll be magnificent in short order.

Onesie says "I speak Wookiee."

Eat, play, sleep, repeat. Right?

I'm reasonably sure my few (very few) readers have noticed I haven't been updating. They also know why.

If you want to guess, it's rather obvious from previous posts: I've had my baby. And really, how does anyone have anytime for anything for the next twenty years?

My idea of a schedule, based on the E.A.S.Y. routine of Eat, Awake (play), Sleep, You time (which is the same time slot as sleep):

08:00 - Wake up when baby wakes up. Change and feed baby. Play with baby.
09:30 - Baby goes down for a nap. I can then eat breakfast and clean the bathroom and clean up the kitchen.
11:00 - Baby wakes up. Feed, then change. Play.
12:30 - Baby goes down for a nap. I eat lunch.
etc.

What actually happens:
06:04 - Baby wakes up. Feed baby, coax her back to sleep. Then try to sleep, but can't because baby, even sleeping is making a lot of grunting noises and it's light out. Try to get a few things done before she's totally awake, like brushing my teeth. Discover David cleaned up the kitchen (Hurrah!)
07:25 - Baby wakes up again. Change baby, feed her, play with her. Try to get dressed.
08:45 - Baby very fussy. Go for a walk. Baby calms down, but remains awake for the next fifteen-twenty minutes of the walk instead of falling asleep in the sling. Gets fussy again at the end, so I return home.
09:00 - Coax baby to sleep on the couch (cause we're both too warm at this point) with a pacifier (dang it, I didn't want to use that thing). Contemplate being productive. Start process to clean the bathroom.
09:30 - Baby wakes up. Bathroom not clean (shouldn't have checked Facebook). Nurse the baby. She proceeds to have two blowout diapers. Nurse again.
10:00 - Baby gets fussy. Walk around the house in circles with the sling (or it would be circles, except the dining room has tiles all over the floor. So more like crescents)
10:30 - Baby nods off. Take a quick walk around the block.
10:40 - I contemplate my options of things to do with a baby on my chest. I try blogging.
10:45 - I get warm and my back hurts, so try and ease baby off with sling. Baby wakes up, but seems to be falling asleep.
10:46 - Baby cries. I use pacifier again (dang it!).
10:54 - Blogging my excuses for not blogging.
11:13 - Download Dropbox and use GIMP to resize a picture so I can use it on my blog.

So as you can see, I have a very hard time finding time to be actually productive. And sleep when the baby is sleeping? Nice pipe dream. I have other things that I need to do. Anyway, I can't sleep in the morning.

And they're only supposed to be awake more as they get older. How will I be able to do anything!? I can see why parents invented bedtime.

She is pretty cute though.

I should probably go clean the bathroom.

Edit: 11:19 - Baby wakes up...

Other changes that are wrong.

Also, making Captain America a member of Hydra is wrong.

http://www.ew.com/article/2016/05/25/captain-america-villain-hydra-nick-spencer-tom-brevoort

I'm an equal opportunity anti-change grump.

Seriously, Marvel?

To my unborn daughter

21-Apr-16
Dear One,

Did I mention I was terrified? It is starting to strike me randomly, flashes of fear as I ponder your arrival. I ask myself, "What am I doing?" How did I think reproducing would be a good idea? Am I going to vaccinate you? What will I do when you are crying and I've tried holding you, feeding you, rocking you, changing you, and nothing works? How am I going to punish you when you misbehave? Praise and support you when you are good? Shepherd your hear and soul toward the truth that ultimately matters?

Of all the souls in the world, suddenly yours matters most, because it was given to my care and keeping, and I am responsible for it, as much as I am your life and well-being.

How will David and I nurture your soul and guide you ever to God? Encourage you to ever walk in his love and truth?

And in this world where we are not only discarding Biblical values and norms, but traditional norms and even reality, how will I as your mother train you to be a woman in all the glory that God made us?

The modern feminist seems set on tearing down men, and abandoning all things uniquely feminine in order to take men's place. I style myself a feminist. I believe in equal rights, voting, and representation under law. But don't be fooled. Equality does not mean the same. We are equal to men under God, little one, our souls just as precious, our hearts just as dear, His love just as great. We are made in the image of God, just as men were, and we represent a part of God men do not. We are different from men, and that is beautiful.

So how do I convince you of your value as a woman in a culture that can't grasp the inherent beauty of women as God has made us? We are lionesses, the huntress who still lets the males eat first. God has made us softer and physically weaker, but with grid iron at our cores, giving us strength beyond what seems human, used for child-bearing, marriage, even fighting as a mother bear protecting her cubs. We were created as helpmeets. There is a saying that behind everyone successful man, there is a woman. As I am able to more look beyond my selfishness, I am beginning to see that I am to support, counter, complete, and help David. That we are a team and his rise is both of our rise, that we aren't competing, we are one. And I could fight him for his job, or I can use my unique differences to raise him beyond what he can achieve on his own.

And he does the same for me, encouraging me in my strengths and supporting me in my weakness. He has given my heart a safe place from which it can fly.

What if you don't get married? Fine, you are still a woman with the unique beauty therein, and God still has a calling just for you and your talents.

I don't want to raise you in all the stereotypes that people think mean girl, but I don't want to force your way either. I want you to be able to like blue and math and engineering and kickboxing if you want without questioning your femininity or abilities, but if you like pink and Barbies and English and ballet, then more power to you. I don't consider myself girly, but I liked all those things too. Except ballet, never got into that.

In short, I want to give you all the confidence to pursue the things you love or are skilled at, secure in your womanhood without feeling the pressure of culture to prove anything about your femininity.

Dear Lord,

Please soothe and take away my fear. I thank you for my little one and the blessing it is to carry her and raise her. Please protect her heart. Draw her soul to you, save her and writer her name in the book. Please guard her from our culture where we have so lost our way and let her be secure in her identity in you. And please help those of us who the truth to guide and witness to our culture, and point them back to the only Way, Truth, and Life.

I need to stop reading Twitter hashtags

Maybe you've heard of the "Give Elsa a girlfriend," or more accurately #GiveElsaAGirlfriend trend. "Because we want our daughters to know it's ok for a princess to love another princess."

I'm rather hoping this Frozen nonsense will be over before my daughter is old enough to have opinions. Yeah, the movie was amusing, but the resulting explosion of Frozen related stuff was way unexpected. By me anyway. We already have a full set of Disney Princesses, why is this one this popular? I like Mulan better. And the original story "The Snow Queen" that Frozen was, well, not based on. Maybe more like a mild nod in the general direction of the title of the story. It's a good story, though.

And I really don't want to reach the point where my husband is going to have to explain to our daughter why she can't watch Frozen, or dress up as Elsa, or whatever. Cause it's going to be David explaining that.

Why? I personally don't care what consenting adults do with each other, although if you wanted what I believe is moral or right, we'd have to look at the Bible, which seems pretty clear on the subject. Is it a sin? According to the Bible. Why is it a sin for two people to love each other? I'm sorry, culture, I didn't write the rules. Regardless of how you or I feel on the subject, the Bible is clear. We might think we've evolved beyond it, that the Bible is outdated, or unreasonable, or something, but the Bible is clear, our feelings notwithstanding. I don't understand everything God has told us, but it seems a bit pretentious to be like, "Oh, this doesn't make sense to me. God and His word must be wrong." Take it or leave it, but don't try and blur it or outreason it.

What starts to bother me is when it goes beyond consenting adults who "just want to love each other in peace" to what we currently have, which is a huge cultural push to have their actions validated by larger society. All of society. It is no longer, "just let us love in peace," it is, "If you don't approve of or validate our love, you are guilty of thoughtcrime and should be punished." And in this agenda push is a focus on messaging that admittedly seems created to cram the "approved" opinion down the rest of our throats. "It's ok for a girl to love a girl."

So Elsa didn't have a love interest in the first movie and it somewhat makes sense they'd give her one down the road. Whatever. I'm sorry, daughter mine.

Today I was on Twitter and I saw #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend. There was also #MakeMarioKissWario, so I'm like, is this a joke? I clicked on it. It was not a joke.

The argument is that Captain America and "Bucky" from the movies should be a thing. I haven't seen Civil War yet, so I don't know where that goes (and hopefully it ain't there), but I was rooting for Captain America because he represents the libertarian freedom ideal from the founding of America, not the American Government. I'm sorry, Iron Man. I guess you get to play the bad guy again.

Ok, look. I am against things that fundamentally change the nature of pre-established characters. I've mentioned this before. I am against Thor being a woman. I am against Captain America being black. I am against Superman being from Soviet Russia (although that was an entertaining read as an alternate reality). I wasn't even sure I was for recreating Catwoman to not fight in heels. It's part of her charm. If you want to create a new Norse god who is a woman, be my guest. If you want a new defender of libertarian limited government foundational American ideals to be black, be my guest. Don't go changing the ones that already exist because they are important and beloved by people for who they are and that includes how they look, their race, their gender, their personality, their sexual orientation. They are imaginary characters. Go imagine some new ones for your agenda.

"Anyone against this is a homophobe. It doesn't matter at all if Captain America is bi." If it doesn't matter, why are you trying to change him?

Because this movement is trying to force anyone who doesn't agree with them to be bullied until they all go and hide away from the PC crowd and let the PC crowd run the show. "Take our opinion and like it." And eventually, all the narratives will say the same thing, all opposition will be whitewashed away to hide in shame and the PC crowd will have the total victory they were asking for. How can you commit thoughtcrime when there are no words for it?

They can't have their own heroes because ours still stand on their own. So they have to change ours, taking away the things we care about, any difference in opinion, any last bastion of our values until they have infected everything.

Never... someone.

Ted Cruz dropped out. "Suspended his campaign," which is more or less the same thing, leaving Donald Trump to be the presumptive nominee. Really the only reason he wouldn't be is if the non-Trump delegates go to convention and make a stink and suspend the rules and basically burn the party to the ground. Not much to gain beyond a temper tantrum.

Me, I'm just quitting the party. Again. I was going to do it after I finished being a delegate anyway, and now there's no point in going to state convention either. I don't care about the Republican platform and committees. They aren't my party. Hopefully, things will change after this and something will break the back of the two party system, but that seems optimistic.

As far as this election season went, I am disgusted. Trump is a horrible human being and yet he is the favorite, and Ted Cruz was a strong conservative with very few negatives and he was character assassinated severely. I remember thinking, "Ugh, Ted Cruz, well, he's better than Trump," and then trying to figure out why I had a bad feeling about Ted Cruz. Most of what people were saying about him was a lie or gross exaggeration. Trump has been calling him "Lyin' Ted," for months without solid proof that wasn't just Trump bloviating, and this coming from the man whose positions on issues could change hourly. Cruz's character was so much a part of his appeal that they couldn't let it stand, and they had to destroy him on his strongest pillar. And frankly, I find that revolting. Any speck, any spot, and people would write Cruz off and dump him, whereas Trump could probably "shoot a man in the middle of a street" and it wouldn't change people's opinions of him one bit. It's disgusting and unfair.

And these extended to completely unfounded and stupid arguments, such as sorting Cruz into "Slytherin" and other idiotic Facebook-graphic style attacks that apparently need little in the way of logic or proof. A lot of our reasoning is being reduced to comics, memes, and pathos-based anecdote, and that is a scary scary way to form opinions and make decisions.

On the other hand, Cruz was not libertarian enough for me, but I felt that he would have been a decent president, a constitutional conservative, that might have prevented the implosion of our culture and civilization for another four to eight years. His foreign policy wasn't good, but at least he realized our interventions and meddling could do harm and Assad, although also not a good human being, had positives over unknown radical who would replace him if we toppled him. So, I'm sorry, Cruz. I went as far as I could in the system for you. I'm sorry that America rejected you. I'm sorry that apparently our majority is motivated by and believes in something I just don't understand. Don't blame me for this one. I can't figure it out. Apparently, I still had faith in humanity. I should have known better.

So where do we go from here? I read a comic that said, "I'm still undecided between Never Trump and Never Hillary," and that appears to be where maybe half the country is sitting. Remember, even though Trump is the "winner" of the Republican Nomination (most likely), he rarely got over 50% in any given state. That means over half the state didn't want him, so please, stop telling me that this is "the will of the people." Plurality is not majority, and under half of the voting Republicans in most of the states voted for him. He represents them, not the other +50%. And the Democrats are having their own problems on that front, with a lot of passionate people going for Bernie Sanders and watching the system keep them out. The Democrats are slightly more advanced in their ability to manipulate their outcomes than the Republicans. That puts probably more than half the country watch their options diminish to the worst case of "lesser of the two evils" that I have ever seen.

I do not believe I could vote for Trump. I'd say "Never Trump," except there is one tiny tiny chance that won't happen that could influence me: if he made Ron Paul either vice president or secretary of state. Then at least someone I trust would be having some influence on foreign policy.

But aside from that, why would I vote for Trump? Just to avoid Hillary? They're both terrible options. Really, who is worse? Hillary is a leftist warmonger crook. And Trump is a... [unknown][unknown]crook. Seriously, we don't know what Trump would do. His answers to things have deviated into taking both sides at the same time. If Russian jets buzz a US ship, will he call Putin to ask him to stop or shoot it down? Both, apparently. Some libertarians think that siding with Trump will delay World War III. Optimistic lot, they are. I don't know if it will. Obama was supposedly a candidate of peace, and he's expanded the ability of the president to wage unlimited war like nobody else before him. The office seems to have that corrupting influence, and Trump's positions are rambling and confused enough that I think it would destroy even his "good" ones.

Hillary would elect leftist judges to the Supreme Court. Trump would... well, he wouldn't elect another Antonin Scalia, he'd probably elect middle-to-leftist judges to the Supreme Court. So much different in outcome. Hillary would continue funding Planned Parenthood. Trump would... I forget, is he punishing the woman for having abortions, changing the Republican platform to included exceptions, or praising Planned Parenthood on all the other "good" things they do? Hillary would increase the minimum wage to $15 an hour.  I don't know Trump's position on that one. Hillary would wage war. Trump would... well, is he going to make "good deals" or is he going to destroy ISIS and show the world who is "winning" again? Basically, we're trying to choose between a bomb that is visibly counting down, and a bomb that may or may not have a lit fuse. Some stinkin' choice.

And either way, we're probably going to get more trans bathroom bills, the draft extended to women, and continued abortion.

It's like in Independence Day where David is drunk and hopeless and kicking over trash cans to try and pollute the planet in hopes the aliens will give up and leave them alone. His father is trying to comfort him and tell him that they still had to be thankful. David asks, "What is there to be thankful for?" Julius seems stumped for a moment, then adds, "Well, you've still got your health."

Cause that's going to do a lot of good when the aliens finish eliminating all life from the planet.

I guess I've still got my health. Hey, maybe I'm being overly melodramatic. Maybe it's not quite the end of the world. I guess we'll see.