The Job Nemesis

I have a job interview tomorrow. Now the best part about them saying, "can you come in tomorrow?" is that I only have one day to freak out about it. Granted, if it was a week, I'd probably try not to think about it until like a day or two before. Procrastination isn't just a habit, it's a way of life!

Now, the nice thing about this is I already met the guy, so he already knows I have dreadlocks. I'm not really sure I've ever been discriminated against because of my dreads, because a lot of applications never get farther than the "assessment" stage. I have been offered jobs at least three times after interviews where my dreads were present, and rejected once... but my hair might not have been the contributing factor.

I hate assessments. It's trying to be a pre-interview to weed out the trash, but if anyone admits to actually stealing office supplies on those, I'm sure there would be blatant red flags elsewhere. Now, there are like three types of assessments and I think they're all tricky.

One, the one I've seen the most often, asks you things like if you think employees should be on time or steal office supplies and has you agree, disagree, or strongly do those things. The tricky part is that sometimes they ask you really similar versions of the same question and are probably checking to see if you are consistent.

Second kind I've encountered maybe twice. It is like math problems. They give you a set of rules, like accounts with under 1000 in them are filed in the A drawer, over 1000 in the B, etc. Then they ask you a bunch of questions about specific examples and where you'd file them based on the rules. Those are fairly easy as it pretty much gives you the answer. However, the trick is that they are timed and you want to be able to take your time because sometimes the rules get a little complex. Probably a comprehension examination of sorts.

And last and most annoying is the third type I've encountered. Probably the reason I'm not working at BAM! right now. This type gives you scenarios in the work situation and asks you how you'd respond, giving you several not necessarily wrong answers. If a customer came up to you and complained about their service, would you apologize or give them a discount or tell them to go back to the person they recieced the service from or get a manager or try to fix their problem for them? Well, I'd do whatever store policy is, that's what. But that isn't an option. At Panera, if someone had a complaint, you get a manager. We weren't supposed to give discounts on our own. And then the manager could deal with it as they see fit, which, depending on the severity of the problem might range from apologies to giving bagles to them until they go away. But what would BAM! want me to do? Would they rather I be a problem solver instead of get a manager? Am I allowed to offer discounts, or is that a no-no? Who knows? Apparently not me.

Jared Van Cleave is our real estate agent, and the job is basically a social-media coordinator and designer to some extent. He's also my dad's real estate agent (and my dad is in to owning real estate) and goes to my church. So I've met him and interacted with him and he saw me cry on the table at the lawyer's office when the house deal didn't go through the first time and he's still giving me an interview. Does that make him part of the extended family? Mom says to tell him I have a brain like my father. I'm not really sure how I'd work that one in. Oh, by the way, I tend to be like my dad in thought patterns and priorities? I feel the necessity to catagorize things according to said priorities and then potentially make fun of them with a dry sense of humor? I have the genetic potential to become a world renown smart person?

Well, I just spent the last half hour stalking my potential employer. Hey, they recommend trying to get information on them before the interview... really... stop looking at me like that.

Envelopes and other antiques

I like to meditate on things that make other people feel old, resulting in a reverse effect for me and somewhat vindictive amusement to boot.

I had such an experience today. As far as I am concerned, the postal service is for packages and junk mail, and I'm only interested in the first one. After all, how can one get their Amazon package without someone delivering it? I suppose if the US Postal Service disappeared, we'd still have FedEx and UPS and so on. All bills would have to be online, all letters would be email, and you could use e-cards and some form of digital checks for birthdays. Would that really be such a loss?

But, as a child if this sort of thinking (and having lived without the USPS for my formative years), I was completely at a loss when it came to mailing something. I am applying for a volunteer position, and oddly enough, even though their application is online in pdf form, I had to print it off. I could have scanned it, but instead of an email address, they gave a PO Box address. I actually had to mail the seven pages of application, two pages of resume, and a background check authorization. Worse, I have to get two references to also mail theirs.

Now, I had my doubts about the ten pages fitting into a flimsy paper envelope, so David gave me one of those large orangeish envelopes that I generally see as holding your packet at some convention. What do I do with this envelope? I was one step ahead of David in that I figured it had to be angled horizontally to address, and he wasn't sure on that point. The internet told me that the flap should be on the right hand side. And I vaguely remember the tradition of putting the addresses in the right spots.

So now I have an overly large envelope. What to do with it? Stamps are mostly a mystery to me. I get that it is a form of you prepaying for your mail and then showing proof you already paid for it by putting the little receipts on your envelope, which seems convoluted, but it works. But the thing that always gets me is how many stamps? So the price has gone up since... well, at some point when I last heard about it. I assume as much because the price always goes up. But I have no concept of what it was then or now. And how does that relate to those Forever stamps? How many of those does it take to mail a large orangish envelope?

At this point, it's too much to think about. So I go to the Post Office. Which apparently is busy, but most people there have packages, so they are permitted.

Actually, now that I think about it, I don't have a mailbox. Just a slot in the door next to the garage. I have no idea how you send outgoing mail from that. Probably go to the Post Office. Or one of those dropbox things.

I have no idea what to do in a Post Office. There are signs over the windows, but I'm not sure if those are general information or indicative of that window's business. I didn't see one that said, "clueless people," so I just stood in the normal line, hoping that whatever employee I got wasn't one of those government robots that you see at some government institutions that no longer behave like normal people. Because if I was in the wrong line or something, I didn't want to get my head bitten off.

Thankfully, the employee I got wasn't a robot and when I walked up and said, "I have no idea what I'm doing," she complimented me on having the address on the envelope in the proper places. So I'm probably not the worst case she's seen. Anyway, she weighed it and I paid for it and felt slightly better, even though I had to ask if the envelope needed to be licked shut or I could just use that little bracket thing. She was probably scared of the flu or something cause she just taped it shut.

Come to think of it, envelope licking can probably lead to AIDS among other people. What an unsanitary practice.

By thy spelling I judge thee.

If you don't know, I am attempting to rehome the dog. Oh, she's fine for a puppy, but I think I have established that I am not a dog person... and do like the ability to leave for more than four hours at a time. I guess if I was ready to settle down and chain myself to the house, I'd have kids or something. And you can at least take them to restaurants and relatives. And I think they bite less.

No, Luna is a good puppy, or so I'm told. All puppies nibble and nip and chew on things. I don't own a whole lot, and most of the stuff I like can be placed in a chest or on a shelf or generally not accessible, with the exception of my Turkish rug. It's in hiding.

But yes, Luna is a good puppy and in a weird sort of way, I'm somewhat fond of her.

Regardless, we've made our choice. Which then leads us to wonder, how does one rehome a dog? Obviously there is word of mouth, although my mother tried giving my dog away to someone else who had owned a husky... and apparently that scarred them for life. I tried giving her to the relatives, as they are "dog people." Through a long and drama-filled process, I believe they would only take her if Sally, their ancient English Mastiff finally kicks the bucket that she's been hobbling around for four years or so, and then they aren't sure how that would relate to their other English Mastiff named Daisy, who seems to not like other females.

As I don't really feel like keeping a dog I don't plan on keeping for the next six months to two years, depending on Sally's life span, I am looking for other ways.

I know there are shelters. I care enough about this dog to not want to do that. And they cost money to use to boot. No, I'd rather Luna live happily here until we move her happily elsewhere. I may not want to keep this dog, but I do care. I feel bad boarding her for a few nights at the pet hospital because she always comes out of those with her ears back, whimpering.

So, you're thinking Craig's List? Oddly enough, for some reason, probably legal, they do not permit selling pets. You can have a "small" adoption fee, though, with small being undefined.

My ad was up for one day before it got removed. Of course they never actually tell you the reason they are removing them and I am rather miffed. You know what? I'm going to put it back up. I don't know what I'm doing wrong until they respond to my request for help anyway.

But in the space of that one day, I got nine responses, all asking about the price. Now, I care slightly more about finding her a good home (David is the one who wants the price), but in a similar way for adoption, it shows that whoever wants the dog is serious about wanting the dog. And we did pay $380 or so for her. And have spent much more than I am asking on her, even before all the shots and vet stuff.

But, saying I did find one or several people willing to pay the price. How will I choose? The emails I get I am automatically ranking in my head. One person said they were "asking about the husky" and I merely had to assume what exactly they were asking about, that being price. I put all sorts of information on her character and the like on the ad. A surprising amount of people cannot grasp the basics of using spelling, capitalization, and punctuation in emails. I can somewhat understand it in chat, as you are trying to be quick, but emails? I'm not handing the dog out the window to the first person who emails me, so you can take a few extra minutes to punctuate.

I don't know if it's proper to rank a dog's future family based on their capitalization, but I judge people for things like that. You seem far more respectable to me if you bother to pretty up your sentences.

Other than that, a few people actually added some more personal things, like "We are interested in adopting Luna" or "Your dog is beautiful" or "We have a fenced in back yard that would be perfect for her." I am also more inclined to listen to those people.

However, I have had very few responses to my responses... so we'll see. They might have all been scared away by David's price, even though I said it was negotiable. To be honest, we'll spend more money keeping her here for a long period of time than selling her for $200 soon to someone who wants her. I hope everyone emails me back, at least helping me understand what the heck a "small" adoption fee is.

Stalkers

So, the other day, I thought the police were following me. Not the "we're just waiting for you to stop and we'll nab you" following, but the "this person looks shady, maybe they'll screw up if they see us behind them" following. Seriously, I am twice as likely to do something stupid while driving if I see a cop behind me. I've gotten pulled over once for running a red light (I do that sometimes when I'm distracted) and I honestly can't tell you the color of the light because I was too busy watching my rear view mirror at the cop behind me.

Little paranoid much, yeah? I drive just fine, for the most part, except when a cop is behind me. Then I drive awful.

Anyway, I had just turned onto Main Street and saw the cop coming down the street. I pause for a second and then figure "Eh, they're going so slow, I'll just pull back to the parking area." So I do so. Then driving along the parking space set just south behind the buildings of Main Street, I'm edging along trying to figure out what would constitute the back of the buildings I was interested in when I glance in my rear view mirror and see the cops, following me. Keep in mind this is a completely different direction... they were heading east, now they're heading west behind me. Now, I am painfully aware of my tendency to screw up when followed, and I was fairly sure they didn't have anything on me yet, they had just seen me maybe something piqued their curiosity. There weren't any other cars moving back here.

So I pull into the nearest open parking spot thinking I'd walk. I park, get out of my car (while double checking that I was in fact allowed to park there) and head west again walking. I might not be less suspicious walking, but I1 feel there are fewer rules you can break while walking. And the police car has pulled over just a short ways from where I parked and is just sitting there, breaks on. I try not to look at them as I pass. As I turn up an intersecting street toward Main Street again, they pass me, turning south toward Lincoln Way. Which is still not the direction they were originally going.

Now, I believe two things. One, I believe police, when they don't have anything to do, stroll/sneak/cruise about just waiting for people to screw up. I've ridden with police men (not in the back) and while the ones I rode with seemed decent, there was still that element of just cruising around, waiting. And two, I have dreadlocks and believe there is a high(er) likelihood that I will be profiled.

Could that be their motivation? Maybe it was just because I hesitated before pulling in and they thought that was weird.

So, obviously, not the most interesting story. I knew someone who told me about them hotboxing in a car and getting pulled over but not getting arrested or anything. Much more interesting. But the thing that makes me think about it is simply that I couldn't figure out how to tell something this story remotely, i.e. not in person. At first I thought about calling someone, simply to relate that I felt I might have been profiled. But then I remember that Big Brother is listening to my phone conversations. The story itself has no wrong-doing in it, but how do I know they'll listen to the whole thing? Maybe they'll just hear that I was being following by the police. Same goes for Gmail, although while I figured people at Gmail can read my emails, they're probably cool enough not to turn me in for whatever presumed crime misreading this story might imply.

When something as extra powers, I simply assume they are always working to the fullest. When I get home, I assume the dog can hear me open the door to the garage or open a package downstairs with the door shut. She's got extra powers of hearing. So too, I assume the government is somewhat stalking all of us. Someone said, "The government is going to have files of us all!" and I'm like, "They don't already?"

What is really bad is that I got followed by police for no real reason and then cautious about telling anyone because of the government listening. And this is America, land of the free...

Lost In The Jungle... of withheld Disney DVDs

So, I was playing World of Warcraft one day as a hunter and decided to tame a tiger to be my pet. I proceeded to name the tiger "Shere Khan" after the tiger in The Jungle Book. Good cartoon, I think we own it.

As I continued question with my companion, ShereKhan (they don't allow spaces in pet names), I kept thinking about it. And I remembered they had a live action The Jungle Book. I only had a vague recollection as I believe I saw it on an airplane and was more stunned by the fact that Westly from A Princess Bride being a bad guy than anything else. That's almost all I remember from the plot. I think there was a girl as well. And, you know, I decided I wanted to see that movie again. Generally referred to as Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book, although a review said it wasn't anything like the book. So I checked my library. They only had the cartoon, as far as I can tell.

This weekend, we called Family Video and asked them if they had it. Nope. Must not be popular, I concluded. David has vague recollections as well, and he recalls liking it. Well, let's try Wal-Mart. They have some older movies. Nope. I asked them just to make sure it wasn't hiding on the bottom of a $5 bin.

When I got home, I tried looking it up on Amazon to see how much it would be to order it. They don't actually have it, though I would have been willing to pay the two dollar rent fee for the instant view, if it was available. But the selling price for the non-Amazon sellers was listed as $79.98 new. And $49.95 used. Oh sure, if I wanted a VHS, which I don't even have the equipment to play or the tolerance for the quality, I could pay 20 bucks. But seriously, 80 dollars for a DVD? SERIOUSLY?

Barnes and Noble has it listed at $69.13. Google shopping generally agrees on 80. I am about ready to buy it for $15.60 from the Goodwill Industries in Florida. Except that the service is temporarily unavailable. I hope they didn't charge me... Why is it so ridiculously high priced?

Probably Disney. Doing one of their Disney tricks of not selling DVDs to movies almost two decades old. And then selling a "20 Year Anniversary" edition for the same price as like the Life of Pi or Avengers or something that actually came out recently. So I got about a year or so until that is an option.

Er... so anyone have a copy they can loan me? Sitting in their basement somewhere? Hopefully in DVD format?

Bah. Interlibrary loan, here I come!

Unconditional Chew Toy, That's What.

Some of the reasons I heard for getting a dog is that they "love you unconditionally." A month in, I have yet to see anything that resembles more affection for me than what she shows her chew toys... and those don't last very long.

Sure, puppies nip. That's what the books say, that's what people say. Unless it relates to me, apparently. Then it's just biting. I go to pet her in some cases her mouth instantly drops open. I thought dogs liked petting? "She just wants to play!" I tried playing with her yesterday. Sat down on the floor and waited for her to come to me. And this time, she went after the crotch of my jeans, my nose, the soft part of my upper arm, went after them mean. I put my hands over my head and she kept trying to bite my face. David came in and found my crying, not because I was hurt, but because I couldn't understand what made the puppy want to hurt me so much. I'm used to her going after fingers or whatnot, but everything else? She hasn't done that to anyone else.

The "dog people" of the world seem to think that cats are above affection, snobbish, and selfish. I'm starting to miss my cat. The only indication that I'm doing something Luna likes is that she isn't trying to bite me. And I'm not even sure about that one... maybe inflicting physical pain is her love language. My cat would chirp when she was happy to see me, come running, and would purr when I pet her. I loved her because she reminded me of me: independent and valuing her space some of the time and coming up for affection and jumping on my keyboard and rubbing against my legs other times.

Luna mostly acts like a cat in the respect that she has her own agenda and wants you to keep it for her. Go inside, go outside, get fed, be played with, be let out of her kennel. I'd think she didn't care about me one way or another except she's obsessed with people. She sees a random stranger and wants to jump all over them. She jumps all over us when we come home (it's cute now... wonder how it will be when she's like 45 pounds). She prefers to be in and sleep in the same room as us. I haven't noticed any particular affection for any of us. She does retreat to people she knows, but is really quick to warm up to new people, provided they don't introduce themselves by chasing her all over the house.

So, a dog with a people obsession and a nipping problem. And she hates Linsey, the person who takes her out multiple times a day, takes her on walks, feeds her, buys her toys, etc. Or maybe she loves me. Loves me like the scattered pieces of every single toy I've bought her.

If this is unconditional love, I think I'd be better off being alone.

Confident

Luna decided to do laps around the house. She's kind of crazy. They're all like, "Take your dog for a walk to tire them out!" She is most hyper right after a walk. Sometimes I'll stick her on the line in the backyard for like fifteen minutes so she can play in the snow without being on a walk. She practically leaps on me when I come out to get her. Basically, everything we do to "tire her out" results in higher energy... for a while, anyway. Maybe it wears off faster or something.

Speaking of walks, I still have not had much success. Today was a lesson in tug-of-war. Either I was pulling her forward because she had decided to stop and smell the roses... or other dog crap... or I was holding her back because she just HAD to get to those two guys, or that woman, or whoever. I never knew walks were such a pain. I thought, "What, you just walk with the dog, right?" Nobody told the dog that.

Cesar Milan always talks about "calm-assertive energy" and how you have to project that to the dog. Something I read somewhere said he advised a woman to picture someone who inspired her and try to walk like she was that person. The woman chose Cleopatra.

I was trying to think of someone who inspired me like that. Ron Paul? Eh, he's not precisely physically inspiring. Anyway, I don't think of him as calm-assertive. When I saw him in debates, it seemed clear he was trying to explain what he considered obviously the best way to people who he probably considered a bit thick. So, more suppressed frustration.

I don't care much for Cleopatra. What a drama queen.

Finally, over the holidays, I discovered someone who had that great walk: Pepper Potts. She's the redhead from Iron Man I and II and makes an appearance in the Avengers as well. Now, I didn't even like Iron Man until they made the recent movies. Robert Downey Jr. is hilarious. Anyway, if you've seen them, you know Pepper Potts was his assistant in the beginning movie and he decides to she's attractive. Pepper isn't the hottest girl. There's a journalist/super model Stark sleeps with in the first movie who is much prettier. But Pepper has attitude, confidence, assurance, etc. Even before Stark goes after her, she is calm and in control and somehow able to put up with him. And as her and Stark's relationship gets stronger, she gets even more confident. She's able to walk around like she's the sexiest girl there and that's when you realize she is actually quite pretty... and has nice legs.

So, Pepper Potts would be the one I'd want to channel. Confidence, it seems, is the thing that makes girls sexy... even more than looks, sometimes. It doesn't matter what you look like as long as you know your worth and carry yourself like it.

Granted, I've had to work on that a lot. I came out of high school with about zero confidence as far as interpersonal relationships go... but plenty on my own, when it came to just myself. I don't know how much I've changed since then... but I think I know myself better and feel better about myself. Still a lot to work on. David seems to give his highest praise in the form of "she knows who she is." I don't think I'm quite to that standard yet.

So, trying to walk with calm-assertive energy and Pepper Potts confidence. Still didn't seem to impress the dog.