No words I say work. Nothing I do works. It's pretty much hell.
Breath. Let your stomach unclench.
Like a nightmare I can't wake up from.
Breath.
My options: Break myself. Force feed myself until my attitude changes into one that is entirely unsupported by my current opinions and logic. I'm feeling betrayed, anxiety, resentment. I don't know how to change those feelings because none of the things that led to them has changed. But I have to.
One day at a time. Forget about having a future. Just live in the moment, one day at a time. Forget about freedom. One day at a time. Aim for a day. Aim for a week. Aim for a month. And there is nothing beyond that.
I'm not a dog person. And I hate myself right now.
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