Friday, June 25, 2010

Is it exceedingly weird to want to take homeless people home? Or pick up hitchhikers? Or help the people who have signs that say "please help?"

It seems that one does not pick up hitchhikers in America. It is simply not safe. Who knows who they might be, with or without Bud Light? I know at least two people who are against me trying new things (like bar crawls) who would also be firmly against me picking up hitchhikers and homeless people, namely my mother and my fiance, David.

I only discovered that they were so against these strange longings I get when I was designated driver for a co-worker at a Des Moines. I didn't drink then, in my pre-21 days, because I need a serious good excuse for breaking the law and "having a good time" with that foul-smelling liquid that can make anybody turn into an idiot was not a law-breaking type of appealing. I like to pick my battles.

Anyway, my Mom and David were not too keen on my doing that, but it was uneventful and he really wasn't even that drunk.

Another time I became aware of their combined displeasure was after I gave plasma at Bio-Life. A college age guy was also there, and had locked his keys in his car and just wanted a lift to the nearest Ford dealership. I agreed and to the amazement of everyone, it happened without incident. However, I was told not to do it again.

But really, I see the amount of people driving past these people and wonder, if we aren't helping them, who will? Why can't I adopt a few homeless people?

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

RAGE

I was pondering on a few different types of rage on the way back from David's apartment tonight. A popular form of rage is NERD RAGE, which I identify to be something along the lines of "This movie sucks because in scene three, Aragorn is supposed to be wearing a brown waistcoat and they put him as wearing a green waistcoat." Nerd rage means you know too much about something and therefore are upset when anyone who might know less than you changes something. I occasionally have nerd rage, but I like to make sure it is warranted, like say the leaving out of entire characters.

Another type of rage I've identified very recently is PANERA RAGE. Panera rage is induced by people allowing their children to reach under the glass and touch pastries, leaving all their dishes on their tables (instead of putting them in the carefully labeled bins), and stepping up when we say "I can help whoever is ready!" and then looking at the menu for the first time. By the way, would that be "whomever" instead of "whoever?"

The type of rage that set off this mental examination is what I fondly call VIRGIN RAGE. And I won't say any more about that except that this entire month stinks and the days are taking FOREVER. It's about nine days left now?