Thursday, March 24, 2016

Ouch

I'm afraid I may actually have to stop jogging.

The part that keeps me up is the question, "If I had jogged more often during the winter, would I be in better shape and able to jog now?"

Currently, I am insanely out of shape. Or something. Last year, I didn't jog much during the winter (rule is it has to be at least 40 degrees or jogging is just no fun), and I started jogging again in the spring and surprised myself with how easy it was. Oh, I was still out of shape, but I thought I'd have to start from near-scratch and I was able to go 5k right away.

Maybe I also just expected myself to be able to do that again this year, but I basically did the same thing over the winter. I jogged until decently late last year, and then it got cold and I would go a full month without jogging. I tried to pick it up again this spring. Oh, I can still go a half hour without stopping, but it is a slow pace and I feel like I'm fighting my body the whole way.

Mental fortitude.

I know the ability to jog doesn't take that long to lose and I wanted to keep doing it because it's really good for stamina and someone mentioned once that might be helpful for childbirth.

Anyway, it seemed to be getting harder or more uncomfortable every time I jogged, which seems like the opposite of getting in shape. It could be because I am getting further in the pregnancy as time goes on, but the medical people said I could jog until it was uncomfortable and I figured running is uncomfortable, so I ignored it. I wanted to be one of those people who jogged all the way to the end, so this kind of breaks my heart.

I went out jogging on Tuesday and it was hard, as usual, but whatever. Around twenty minutes in, I had to detour back to the house. I noticed then that the tendons at the tops of both legs hurt. A lot. But I only had like seven minutes left on my Zombies, Run! mission, so I went back out and finished it.

I about cried during my cooldown walk. I was literally talking to myself, trying to motivate myself to get across the kitchen, telling myself, "You can do this." I don't know how I made it to work later. I know I was mentally singing the song from Santa Claus is Coming to Town that goes, "Put one foot in front of the other... and soon you'll be walking across the floor..." I caved and asked David to pick me up because I was having trouble coping with going across the office, much less walking all the way home. I did manage to limp all the way out to the car. I couldn't walk normal, or even fake it, I was in so much pain. It was quite possibly the most sustained pain I have ever been through. Obviously, hitting your head on something sharp can probably hurt more, but that usually fades pretty quick.

I've never broken a bone, thank God, so I can't compare.

Now, a few days later, I still can't really walk normal, but much of the pain has gone away. My brother said it was my hip flexor, and hip pain is pretty common during pregnancy. But what I really can't get is that this happened from just running. I was jogging. That's all. I've done it before, many a time. I think I went jogging last week.

A nurse told me that the third trimester tends to be when your body gives you muscle and tendon relaxants to allow the hips to spread in preparation for childbirth and it could be the addition of that stuff is what caused my normally fine-but-slow runs to all of a sudden contain a time-bomb of pain.

Maybe I could jog fifteen minutes? Or maybe, if the potential recovery time is going to be in days, it simply isn't worth the risk anymore.

My mental fortitude is crying.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Driveby shame

Scrolling through Facebook (I know, a colossal waste of time) I tripped over an image that a guy I knew in driver's ed like 12 years ago liked that was shared by another person from one of those pages that is a cause, not a person. It was titled "casually racist whites bingo."

I'm guessing you could figure out what sort of stuff was on it, from alllivesmatter to reverse racism to "I don't have white privilege because I'm poor." It's an interesting rhetorical method where they don't even have to address any of the arguments, they can just group them up and shame them all together by inclusion.

One of the squares that tripped me up was the one that said "has 'dreadlocks' or defends whites with dreads." I'm Caucasian. I have dreadlocks. Not "dreadlocks" thank you very much.

So, am I being casually racist? I guess I don't even know. I try not to write about racism because in reading about it, it seems like there is no place to stand and discuss any of it without somehow being offensive to someone, save abject apology for white privilege or whatever.

But dreadlocks? I know we consider them as having come from Africa and being part of that culture, especially related to Rastafarianism, but historically, they're multicultural. There is evidence for dreads from ancient Greece, Islam, Hinduism, and Africa. Obviously some hair types work better than others.

I get mixed reactions to my dreads. A lot of people, of differing backgrounds, say they love them. Some just stare, or seem disbelieving.

So how am I being racist by how I do my hair? I didn't weave in fake dreads, it is my real hair and it really is locked. Is it just seen as co-opting someone else's culture without knowledge or respect for it? Like wearing traditional African or Indian clothes without the matching heritage? I guess some people might find that offensive, but I feel trying to put a total lockdown on a style is potentially overreach, especially if it isn't done in a mocking or offensive manner.

And trying to claim a multicultural hairstyle that really anyone can wear (albeit with some effort) as a baseline racist thing seems like casual overreach of this bingo game. Or is it arguing that just because I'm "white" and not Greek, Muslim, Hindu, or African, I can't wear dreads. Multicultural except for my background?

All in all, it's a hair style. And I did it because I thought it looked cool and didn't want to pay for haircuts anymore, or brush and style my hair. As far as I can tell, I did it without stealing from anyone or demeaning anyone else, but that's where all this gets tricky, right? So many times this argument is framed entirely in the eye of the beholder. But I hardly owe it to a bingo game meme.

Monday, March 14, 2016

My Impending Unemployment

I always figured I'd be a stay-at-home mom when the time came. The reasons range: Mom did it for us and I'll eternally appreciate it. Daycare costs money. Kids are only young once and why would I want to spend the time they're growing up attempting to eke out a career?

On that last one, it might have been at least tempting if I had like a good job that I actually liked, but I've had a lot of bad experiences. I've had jobs that pay decent and were awful, and jobs that were fun, but didn't have the hours to make them full-time/sustainable for daycare, and I've had jobs that weren't fun and didn't pay much.

I always figured I'd settle down and start my writing career from home or something.

But now with the little one doing yoga or something somewhere in my abdomen, I am pretty aware that come June, I probably won't have the time or flexibility to do much in the way of work. As far as my current job as a production assistant, I could probably arrange for a few hours here and there, but that would not make me the most reliable employee ever. For practical reasons, I gave my nine-month notice a long while ago and asked to be replaced by an intern.

Either that, or Ginny might help edit from time to time.

As a side note, I really hope this baby takes well to being flexible, and my random spontaneity.

What I'm getting at is that I don't make much because of hours and I'm about to make even less. David always says that it's fine, he'll provide (and if he won't, God will), and not to worry. I just don't like the decrease in income and while I know I won't be able to go out and do what I want or really hold any steady job, I will most likely have some free time somewhere in there. I think. I'm pretty new to this kid thing.

So what's left?

I found this blog while Googling "ways to make money from home" called The Penny Hoarder.

It's weird and has articles from all sorts of topics covering really odd jobs, hobbies, spending statistics, savings loopholes, store super-sales, etc. And while most of it might not apply to me, such as Boston being the cheapest city to buy groceries, it stretches my mind. So I can't hold a nine-to-five or an hourly part-time? The Penny Hoarder has all sorts of ideas to earn a spare cent or two.

This new-found financial fervor also is a side-effect of taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University in connection group. I'm a spendthrift and miser by nature, but I also hate budgets because budgets constrict freedom. I'm the "free spirit" in Dave Ramsey's terminology. In normal life, this plays out by me wanting to be able to eat out or buy that little thing or whatever without thinking about it, but if someone costs more than $40, there is pretty much no way I'll buy it. Maybe with someone else's money... which seemed like all the rest of "our" money that wasn't in my account.

FPU had the beneficial effect of making me view the budget and all as more of a partnership and group quest than that random law that decided to rear it's ugly head every time I wanted to get pizza.

Don't mess with the pizza.

So now, looking at the budget, I can see a map, a strategy, for getting us both where we want to go. And I'm trying to devise ways to still contribute, or get us there faster.

All of a sudden I'm looking at coupons to see what's on sale. We're considering what things lying around we've had or won at company picnics or whatever that we don't use and might be worth a buck. And I'm trying to find ways to make money from home.

I'll let you know how that goes.

And no, pregnant women can't donate plasma.

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Eyes Wide Open

Originally, I laughed at Trump. Then I started to get annoyed with him. I was wrong. Now I'm scared. And not so much of Trump, but of what he spawned.



WORLD Media Player

Monday, March 7, 2016

PSA: Cold vs Flu vs Stomach Flu

Since becoming pregnant, I have felt an overwhelming urge to look up any and all symptoms of pretty much anything in What to Expect When You're Expecting. As a result, I have discovered that I didn't actually know the difference between the flu (influenza) and the stomach flu. And more surprising, I discovered that most other people don't either.

It started with my boss's family contracting the stomach flu, that 1-3 day thing that involves nausea, vomiting, and general misery. As a concerned pregnant woman knowing that the flu was bad to get when expecting, I ran to my book to see what the exact problem was. And my book told me that stomach flu was basically just miserable for me, not my baby. A relief, I suppose. I didn't get it, probably at least partially because my boss warned me away for at least a day after he had it. He told me not to come in to work. Also, I believe in vitamin D.

Now, in my book, there is also a section on telling colds from the flu, and the flu vaccine. Unrelated to the so-called stomach flu.

I know what a cold is. Sore throat, stuffy or runny nose, coughing, and usually no days missed work. I get about one a year and proceed to pop vitamin C drops and drink tea. But the book actually had to differentiate between a cold and a flu.

Which is how I figured David probably had the flu when he started feeling bad on Monday, and then was down and out for the next four days.

Apparently, influenza is like a super awful cold. It involves sore throat, coughing, muscle pain, fever, fatigue, and can last a week to two weeks. It can include nausea and vomiting, but usually not in adults. Exactly what David had. But when I mentioned to people that David had the flu, they all thought that meant he was throwing up. Confusing it with the stomach flu.

Which utterly baffles me because a majority of Americans get the flu shot every year. And apparently don't even know what it is they're trying to avoid.

Not that I would recognize measles or smallpox or polio... but I'm not getting yearly shots for those. I'm not hearing advertising every year about how you need to go and get your flu shot. We're constantly being told the flu is bad, and I guess we're willing to just take that at face value because we don't even know when we have it.

So this is my public service announcement. Go forth and be educated.

Cause now I feel like I have to explain the difference to everyone when talking about it, which gets pretty tiresome.