I would like to spend a moment and talk about my flip flops. Now previously, I had a pair of Switch-Flops, which are flip flops with Velcro on the top and many different overpriced tops that Velcro on. (I guess Velcro is a brand name, as my app keeps capitalizing it.) Anyway, they were cute and comfortable and I wore them to death. But when they broke, I decided to try something new. Now, I am using the app, so I'm not really sure where the attached picture ended up, but take a second to look at it. Those are my new flip flops. Guess what that bit on the sole is.
I walked into a shoe store in the mall and went to.the.display saying something like "ridiculously comfortable" to describe their product, Reef. When the sales guy came over, I asked him, "Are these really ridiculously comfortable?" He replied to the affirmative and said that he wore the guys version and loved it. "So what are these things on the bottom?" I asked, having already examined the odd metal bit sticking out. "Those are bottle openers."
I guess they also double as arch support. But owning flip flops with bottle openers on the bottom seems to raise expectations for what I do in said flip flops. If one has bottle-opening shoewear, it seems expected that one attends beachside parties in which you might find yourself without a bottle-opener but with a plethora of shod feet.
Unfortunately, I do not appear to be in possession of a group of friends which might be inclined to party on a beach, and the only beach which is near is a much less exciting lake beach, and it has all sorts rules, including no drinks of a more fun complexion.
So failing all that, am I a footwear poser? Am I allowed to sport flip-flops created for a much more entertaining lifestyle than I posses? And should I attempt to make up for the lack, or simply stop talking about it?
Maybe I need to move to California.
