I am currently involved in a "small group" Bible study with the Des Moines First Assemblies church. I approve of small groups in the Biblical desire for churches to meet needs and people on a personal rather than big level. The larger the church is, the more important it is to have small groups because that brings you a level of commitment and... and... I hate it when I forget words. Someone to sit there and make sure you are doing what you are saying you are doing!
It will come to me.
Anyway, my small group is doing the church-issued Bible study following the sermon for six or seven weeks. And in an effort to stay on top of things, I will attempt to actually do the Bible study day by day instead of cramming it like homework on Sunday. One moment, laundry.
Darn it, someone else has the washer. And I still can't think of the word. Something partner. Reliability? Predictably? Liability? Those seem halfway... Argh.
This week is the famed "love chapter." Wow, that sounds corny. But, the chapter itself is not.
Accountability! Accountability partners! Yes! I totally thought of the word!
I'm so proud of myself.
Ahem.
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have no love, I am nothing.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have no love, it profits me nothing.
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part.
But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
And now abide, faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
- 1 Corinthians 13, 1-13
So, what have we learned? Other than that the translators (or Paul) really liked semicolons? Seriously, I'm scared to use them occasionally, this has like seven.
I'm going to try and keep the sweeping revelations out of this post and... one moment, evicting birds from off the AC. I guess it is better than birds living IN my AC, which is what happened last spring. And then I had to dodge David's Wacom (on the floor) and that burnt egg roll that he put out on the porch cause it made the whole kitchen smell like burnt paper after he started on fire in the microwave and then lost it... He thought maybe a bird had stolen it and I think even birds have more taste than that.
But, point being, I'm going to talk more about myself in the blog than text analysis, because that is for small group. And they probably don't want to hear too much about me. When you are talking to people, you have to make it fairly short and your stories succinct, because they also want to talk. When I am writing a blog with a very small readership... you asked for it.
Love. Love is hard. I can sometimes be a decent person when I'm not walking with God, although I am much more volatile. Really volatile. But I lose my capability to love. I cannot love without God. I can like, desire, whatever, but the lasting feelings, the ability to care enough about the person to forgive, overlook mistakes, I can't do that without God. I know I am sinking when I start getting made for little stupid things, personality traits I already knew existed or even liked at one time. I think we all have our struggles and that is one of mine.
And yet it is also the one I need the most. So much of this world needs love, from the Internet trolls to the orphans. And I am so ill-equipped to give it to them, even pray for them. Love makes me want to pray. Maybe prayer will make me want to love.
Going up in what I see as the "relationship-with-God-ladder" is often very difficult because there is no "I do this one thing and the rest is easy." It is a cycle of trying to change attitudes, habits, patterns, and the first couple steps are some of the hardest. I don't love and I'm really bad at praying. There is no magic key here, I have to change both. And I know God will help me, but I'd have to ask Him, which means prayer. And this time I don't want to be at the bottom before I do that.
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