I really question if I can do this. Every day. Last night I was a total wreck, partially cause I had tried to redirect the puppy to a chew toy like everything says to do when she was chewing on something else, she chewed on it for a moment, then out of nowhere bit my hand. It wasn't hovering near her or anything, just next to me as I sat at my chair. I was so upset. And then she tried to comfort me, probably not knowing why I was upset, just knowing I was. David took me out to eat and I was a mess. And then we came back and found she had separation anxiety and had pooped in her crate again.
David was annoyed/upset, so the puppy kept snuggling up to me while he cleaned out the crate. She could probably tell he was angry. He was already frustrated with her for making me cry.
So that actually ended on somewhat of a good note. She went outside when we took her, didn't cry much when we crated her for the night. She doesn't mind it at night and will sleep most of it. It isn't crying that wakes me up, it's her moving around and it only really wakes me up because I keep thinking "take them out when they wake up" and figure if she is moving around, she might be awake, and if she is awake, she might need to pee. And then she kennels again just fine (still need a treat to get her in there) and goes back to sleep.
Today, I took her out to the backyard for a bit and she messed around, a bit hyper. Then I took her for a walk. On some sections of the walk, she'll go along trying to sniff all the grass, grab sticks and seed pods, and otherwise just explore. If there are people, she'll go through some shy and then interested routines. Same with dogs with a little more on the shy. And then on other sections of the walk, maybe even coming back down a street we just went up, she'll get weird. She'll pull at the leash and keep pulling. We're trying to train her to stop it simply by stopping whenever she pulls. Then she'll sometimes keep looking around, like hearing something we aren't that takes all of her attention. Sometimes she'll keep pulling and jump forward and start whining and crying. Only today I think I really figured out what it was, clued by the separation anxiety. I crouched down and was like, "What? What is the matter with you?" and she scooted right in between my legs, trying to curl up to me. I think she's terrified.
Back inside after a quick trip out back, she started pooping on the rug. I interrupted her, but she didn't continue outside. Nervous maybe? So I put her in her kennel (without scolding, as it appears to not work with the potty training) to clean it up and she went berserk. I didn't want to let her out just because she was whining (she might get ideas), so I went in, got a book, and just sat there for a while. She was panting herself into a fit, clawing at the cage, chewing at the door, trying to dig out the bottom.
I kept talking to her, but it didn't seem to make a difference. I let her out after a little bit and she was hyper for a bit, settling down with the rawhide bone for a while. After a while, she'll either go back into the bedroom and sleep on David's sweatshirt or sleep here in the study. She's in the bedroom now. She never really goes into her kennel unless we tempt her in.
Looking back through the puppy book, I think we made a mistake. I didn't read the chapter on selecting one because by the time we bought the book, we already had one. But it says to take puppies that will come up to you, that like to explore, that are curious. Luna was timid, didn't come up to us. The previous owners talker her up for being "relaxed" and "calm" unlike other husky puppies. But I think she's broken.
Why do you just kick me while I'm down? Add another thing to the list of problems? I have to deal with a dog, who is also a puppy, who is also a husky, who is also timid. One of my favorite things about being an unemployed waste of space was that I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Christmas shopping on Main Street, biking over to Mom and Dad's to use their punching bag, walking to the mall...
And now my whole life is consumed by this puppy. I have to watch her feed her walk her take her out and get bitten and tugged and jumped and yelped at...
True pet owners would probably berate me for what I'm saying. People are like, "But it's so worth it!" or "I have to think of what's best for them!" and I just don't get it. So she grows up to a dog... is having a dog worth it? I don't know. What's best for her? Probably somebody other than me, someone who can actually love her and actually wants to invest the time.
David maintains this is going to be good for me. It's been really peachy so far.
No comments:
Post a Comment